Caught in a Blonde
by Psyc0gurl0
Summary: Madi! Mac and Dick are having a secret affair, the problem is they are lying to themselves about their feelings. Too bad Dick is still dating Madison and Beaver seems to have taken a special interest in Mac. It starts before season 1 and goes into the sho
1. Start

**Title:** Caught in a Blonde

**Author:** Psyc0gurl0

**Disclaimer:** No one belongs to moi! Tear tear! Sniff sniff! All belong to Rob Thomas

**Summary:** I can't believe I had went back to him. It was a one night thing and I was doing it again. I was pathetic a loser, but it made me feel oh so better. This starts off before Lilly died and goes into the show. Logan and Veronica weren't the only ones who had a secret affair going on.

**Couples:** MaDi LoVe

**Author's Note:** I've only seen the whole first season and I got the jest of season 2. Season three I watch sometimes so I think I'm pretty caught up on everything, I just hope it's enough! If I miss anything feel free to correct me. This whole story is through Mac's eyes. I hope I have everything I need to say...I hope it's good! this is my first only Veronica Mars fic. Also Caught in a Blonde is by the rockin band of Horrorpops!

* * *

_i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained_

_but you've been tamed  
you turned your whole life  
into something she can hold  
just when i thought  
nothing was wrong  
you let me down again  
just when i thought  
we had it down  
just when i thought  
you would stay  
you changed your mind  
you chose wrong_

_i wish there was  
something to take  
that would give things meaning  
give you mind to think  
all her spites made me realize  
you must be numb and a bit dumb  
dissing me, playing her game  
you've turned your whole life in to  
something she can control_

_spending time  
on the likes of her  
it's not worth it  
feeling that you got nothing to givejust proves it  
you had more before  
you got caught in a blonde_  
-_Caught in a Blonde By HorrorPops_

* * *

**Chapter One: Start**

To this day I wasn't sure how this whole stupid things started. It might not seem like a big deal through someone else's eyes. Someone who didn't go to Neptune. But it was a big deal through my eyes and everyone else from Neptune High.

One of the most hottest richest popularest guys in my grade having a secret steamy after school affair with the class computer geek? Guess which one I was. Well for one I'm a women, Mac, well my _real _first name is Cindy, Cindy _Mac_kenzie. Combined with my love of computers and my last name, I am known as Mac. And the very popular very rich and very hot boys name is Dick Casablancas.

You might know his father of the same name. His father marries gold digger tramps and owns some sort of large business. I wasn't sure, I never really paid attention when Dick discussed money. I wasn't like one of those freaky people who hated money or something, I just wasn't into guys talking about how much their daddy's made.

It was most certainly not a turn on.

But his lips were.

And his soft blonde hair...I shook my head and looked at my newest therapist who had asked the question of "how did you get involved with this boy, Dick?"

"For my health class we were assigned a month long project. He thought I was going to do it all. I wasn't. So we fought a little then got over our differences and soon after we finished the project and were done with each other."

"That's all?" She asked.

I nodded, that was truly and seriously how it all started.

"But how did you become _involved_?"

I stared at her, oh, I had to tell _that_ part too? I glanced at my watch and realized with a smile that our time was up.

"We can discuss this next week, Cindy. Make an appointment with Rita on your way out."

I nodded knowing the drill and left her room to make my appointment. When I mentioned that, Julia, which is my therapists name was new, I didn't mean new, new, I meant that I had just started going to Julia a few months ago.

I still considered her to be a new therapist, mostly because I had one other one and that was when I was very little. We moved to Neptune when my brother, Ryan was born. I was only about 6 and I wasn't taking the news so kindly, so my parents thought it was best to send me to a child psychologist. Needless to say it didn't work so well. But I just got another one, as I said, a couple weeks ago because of the two things that happened in my Freshman year and half of this year.

Last year, my Freshman year two very important things happened. One, my best friend Carly moved away, far far away. Like to freakin Alaska! And two, I changed my name, and my hair color, and basically transformed myself from a dweeby 8th grader to a less dweeby computer loving girl with cool hair. I discovered computers in the 8th grade. I fell in love with computer the summer before high school and decided I was going to get a new name, and a new look.

Hence Mac, with my newly streaked green hair.

Classy, I know.

I was also not going to put up with anyone walking all over me.

Hence me not taking Dick's bull.

So 9th grade swung around and it was fine, nothing huge happened, the popular people ruled the school and the people, like me and Carly were at the bottom of the food chain.

Then the summer came and Carly moves away, and I realize I will be starting Sophmore year alone.

That's when in the first semester of sophmore year, last semester more specifically two things happened.

One, I met Veronica Mars. She is best friends with Lilly Kane and she used to date Lilly's brother, Duncan Kane. Now though she dates Lilly Kane's ex. Logan Echolls. You'd think it'd but a strain on their relationship, but oh no! They're closer then ever. Rumor has it (not that I actually _listen_ to rumors) that Lilly is seeing someone secretly. So Veronica and Lilly are best friends still and me and Veronica talk sometimes. Not much, since we are from two different worlds, but enough during our two classes together.

And the other thing that happened to me was I got assigned that project with Dick. As I said before we worked together fine, until one day I went over his house to work on the project and found him having a party. No one really noticed I was there cause they were all too drunk and when I finally found Dick to yell at him about how our project was do in two days he just leaned down and kissed me.

And I must admit it wasn't bad.

But the next day he didn't even talk about it, so I didn't either. But as time went on we eventually kissed again and kissing led to making out and making out led to...other things. We haven't had sex yet, thank god. I mean, I don't think I want to loose my virginity to someone who doesn't even love me, I don't think he even likes me.

So that has led us up to my second semester of my sophomore year. We just finished midterms and school starts in about a week, so excited.

Not really.

All I do in school is do the work and make (sadly enough) googoo eyes at Dick, who doesn't even acknowledge my presence on school. He's too busy making out with Madison Sinclair.

I sighed walking into my house and up to my room. I wasn't ever very talkative when I got back from my therapist. I just laid in my room listening to music until my cell phone rang and I eagerly answered it already knowing who it was.

"Hey, babe."

I rolled my eyes at Dick's sexist greeting but answered back. "Hello."

"What are you doing right now?"

"Madison ditch you tonight?"

"No, I just wanna hang out with you."

"What do you_ really_ want, Dick?"

"Uh...I need someone to play Halo with. Logan's with Ronnie, and Duncan's off being emo and—"

"yeah, fine whatever. I'll come over." I said hanging up the phone and going to my closets to look more presentable.

I used to not care what people thought about how I dressed, but then I looked at Madison and Lilly and felt plain and stupid, so I got a little dressed up, but not too much cause I just liked Dick for a hook up I didn't feel anything towards him.

I think.

I hope.

I wish.

I drove over there it was a short drive and parked in the street then went into the gigantic house. I didn't even need to knock. No one noticed when people came in and out of that house. Dick's fathers barely ever home and his step-mother of the week is usually out shopping or something. Beaver, Dick's brother just stays in his room listening to classical music and barely ever coming out.

Thank god.

I headed up to Dick's room and just walked in not bothering to knock there either. As embarrassing as it is to admit, I've already seen Dick naked, and Dick doesn't know the meaning of 'privacy' so it doesn't really matter to him.

Or after awhile me.

"Hey, Ghostworld." Dick said with a smirk and getting up to greet me.

Dick's greeting consists of multiple kisses then kisses down my neck. I bit my lip to keep from smiling as his lips traveled down my neck like the usually did.

"Dick." I said when I felt his hand traveling lower and lower. "Are we going to play Halo or what?"

He stopped kissing and backed up from me a pout on his lips. "Fine, fine, we'll play Halo but later we can bang."

"Dick your so vile." I stated rolling my eyes and sitting on his bed.

A bed where possible a hundred girls had been. I felt dirty for being with him and confused as to why me? What was so special about me? When most of the school's population would willingly through themselves at Dick Cassablancas.

"But you love that." he said back handing me a controller and sitting next to me.

I shook my head in front of my hair to hide the smile on my lips. He laughed at me and we started to play Halo. Of course I beat him ever time and sadly enough he was trying. After awhile he paused the game and turned towards me.

"Mac? Are you hungry?" he asked knowing perfectly well that I was.

I wasn't like most of the other girls he knew who didn't eat jackshit. "Well seeing as it's 7:30 at night, a perfectly good eating time, yes I am hungry."

"Good, cause I am too. What do you say to a pizza?"

"I say...no anchovies or green peppers."

Dick laughed, "dude, how can you not like green peppers? They're like amazing!"

"Well they can give their amazingness to someone else. I hate them."

"And I like them."

We stared at each other willing the other one to give in when his cell phone rang. I sighed ripping my eyes away as he answered it.

"Hey dude, what's up?"

I rolled my eyes wondering if he ever gave a normal greeting, when his entire poseur straightened up and I automatically knew who it was.

I motioned towards the door and Dick waved me off trying to listen to his obnoxiously slutty girlfriend, Madison.

I walked outside his room and I went downstairs to try and find something fulfilling to eat. As I was looking through the refrigerator I heard someone behind me so I lifted my head. Too bad my head was still in the fridge causing it to smash into the top of the thing. I came out of the fridge whining slightly and rubbing my head when I saw who had made the noise.

Cassidy or Beaver Cassablancas.

"Mac?" he said for the second time.

I rubbed my head and nodded at him a lie already on my tongue. "Yes?" I asked smiling.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly still staring at me with those sad eyes.

Looking at Cassidy always made me want to hug him because he looked so sad, and he had Dick for a brother. If Dick was my brother...well I for one wouldn't be screwing him and two I would want a hug.

"I...uh...I'm helping your brother study for History class. You know how stupid he is." I said with a laugh.

Cassidy just stared at me and I bit my lip trying to think of something else to say.

"How are you?" I asked still rubbing my head hoping to reduce the pain.

"I'm fine, you?"

"Fine. How's your winter break?"

"Great, you?"

"Yeah, great."

I nodded feeling like this was one of the most awkward conversations of my life. I felt like I should leave, Dick was busy with Madison and Cassidy was obviously suspicious I could always make it to the door easily. That plan was stopped though when we heard heavy feet pounding on the stairs and Dick came into the kitchen.

"Sorry that was Madison...hey lil bro!" Dick said going over and giving his brother a 'playful' punch on the shoulder. "You meet, Mac? She's helping me with school cause she's smart and stuff." Dick said nodding eagerly and looking at me with a huge smile on his face.

I nodded also to Cassidy and felt even more awkward.

"Yes, Dick, I know Mac, we have gym together and she's been over here a lot lately." he said quietly as I turned my head to look down at the floor.

"Well, yeah, I guess she has, but dad said I had to raise my grades and she's one of the smartest people in the class so...anyway, Madison will be here soon." Dick said looking directly at me.

I knew what I had to do.

I had to leave.

I hated leaving.

I hated leaving because of someone else.

Especially Madison.

I nodded understanding the double meeting and announced my leaving.

"Well! Since she's coming over, I don't want to waste time with anymore of this 'useless' studying time. I'll see you later. Bye Cassidy!" I said smiling and heading towards the door.

Once my hand reached the door knob and I opened it I was surprised and disappointed to see who was standing on the porch. Was she haunting me or something?

"Oh! It's you." the bitch said.

I smirked at her and walked past her, not really wanting to hear any of her 'witty' quips.

"What are you doing here?" she called after me.

What was with that question? Can't everyone accept that I'm helping Dick study! He isn't the smartest cookie in the box, people should know that by now. Jeez, now I sound like a bitch. "Helping Dick study! We have history together." I called over my shoulder.

"Really, interesting, I didn't know Dick would sink so low as to ask for _your_ help." she said to me.

I tried to keep my 'happy' face on, "yeah, well, not all of us can get by with sleeping with the teacher." I said smiling and turning and going to my car.

"What a piece of shit!" she called as I drove away.

I guess she couldn't think of anything more creative to say. I sighed driving away from Dick's feeling pretty happy, but that happiness only lasted a couple days because the rest of break and the first week of getting back to school Dick totally ignored me.

And as much as it killed me to say it, I felt used and hurt and a deep, deep hatred for Madison because I know she said something and I was pissed at Dick for listening to her.

(A/n: There are probably a few mistakes in here but how was it? was it bad? or good? would i sound pathetic if i asked for reviews? lol. crap)


	2. I've Got nothing to say

A/N: I am changing some dates, so please don't kill me! I thought Shelly Pomroys party happened in the summer and well...yeah. So I'm changing some dates. So, anyway! I was going to change some stuff but I had just finished writing this and I really wanted to update for you guys, even though I had just created this story like 2 days ago! But seriously, I am excited for this story so I wanted to update even though I have ALOT of other stories that I SHOULD be updating and am not. So I basically passed out after updating my other story and woke up from dinner then thought 'hey! I guess maybe I should update this story!' So i did. Obviosly. after eating yummy shrimp! ok so! I would like to give a happy thank u to my 3 reviewers! _**Annie** (who yes, there will be some jealousy) **lamiss12 **(Lilly is starting off alive. you'll see what I mean later on) and **sofy2409** (thank u for being my first reviwer! ur amazing!)_ And thank u to anyone else who read! Hope you like chapter 2! The Italics in the story btw is txting.

**Chapter 2:** **I've Got Nothing to Say**

_i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained_

_-Caught In a Blonde By Horrorpops_

* * *

I stared at my disgusting lunch. I didn't know why my parents insisted on packing a nasty meal filled lunch. I didn't eat meat, why couldn't they understand that?

I sighed making a face at the meat filled sandwich and looked around the outside eating area I had eaten in for the past almost 2 years.

I looked over at the potheads, the emo kids, the 09ers, the geeks, the outcasts, and the Jocks, along with all of the subgroups. I never really felt like I fit in with any of them, everyone had a place, but me.

I guess if I seriously had to cartography myself I would be in the computer- nerd section, but seriously I was _way_ to cool for them.

I smiled softly to myself and dove into my bag looking for some homework I needed to finish by next period. As I started on my English reading I was surprised to see someone sit at my table.

"Hey, Mac."

I looked up to see those sad eyes and I felt my stomach drop a little. "Hi, Cassidy." I said trying to be nice.

I liked him, he was nice and everything, but it was a little awkward talking to the guy our having a secret affair with's brother.

"What's up?" I asked setting Romeo and Juliet down.

Ironic, I know.

"Nothing, I just wanted to ask you, something."

Please don't let it be about when I was last over at his house. Please, please, please, I promise to clean my room, and cook dinner and—

"Do you think you could help me download some things onto my computer."

"Oh!" I said surprised, and slightly embarrassed. "Sure! I'd be happy to!" I said smiling. "When?"

"Oh, whenever, I'm not very busy." he said smiling for the first time.

I smiled back and we sat in a comfortable silence until the bell rang and we went off to our separate classes. I felt a little weird, having a nice moment with Dick's brother, but what could you do? It wasn't like I couldn't date other people or something, me and Dick were just a fling, nothing more serious.

"Hey, EBFF."

I looked up seeing Veronica and smiled at her. This was one of the two classes we had together, for that I was happy for a destruction.

Veronica could usually distract me from anything, especially boy issues such as Cassidy and Dick.

"Hey EBFF." I said smiling at her.

"Did you do the reading last night?" she asked sitting down.

"Barely. I had a ton of other stuff to do." I said shrugging thinking about how I almost different finish it during lunch. Thank you, Cassidy.

Veronica moaned. "It was so...unromantic though. Killing her cousin. If Logan killed my cousin..." Veronica trailed off shaking her head.

"Right." I said nodding hesitantly and looking at her. "Right." I said again looking at the teacher as he came in.

I liked English, most of the books we read, usually related to my life, parents not relating to me, falling in love with guys who only wanna screw, secret love affairs with the person you should never ever talk to.

I watched our teacher ramble on about some paper we would be writing once we finished the play. I glanced over at Veronica who was txting, most likely Logan or Lilly.

I was surprised though when she stopped and I felt a vibration shoot through my leg. My bag was leaning against my bag, hence the vibration.

I quietly and quickly lifted my bag up and going to the pocket were my cell was.

_What's up? _

It read, I smirked and quickly texted back, _nuthin much u? _

_Same, bt what was that bout lunch? _

_What do u mean? _

_U were tlking w/ Beaver. _

_He came 2 tlk 2 me._

_ I saw, Dick looked pretty po'd. _

_Really? Wonder why. _

_Me 2, it's weird. Beaver being in2 u & all. _

_He's not in2 me! _

_O yeah! He is! He just sat in his place the whole time staring u till he got up & went ovr. _

_Really? _

But that was as far as it got because the bell rang and I headed off to gym.

I was surprised at the whole ordeal.

Dick being pissed, Cassidy having a crush on me.

Maybe I should end this?

But as I thought that I was pulled into a janitors closet and kissed deeply from a very familiar mouth.

"Hey." Dick muttered his mouth still on mine.

I felt his hands roaming my body and for once I welcomed the feel. It had been ages since he had kissed me like this. Actually it'd been ages since he'd kissed me. But I had to end it, I had to go to gym.

"I gotta go to gym." I said giggling softly.

"Don't go! I've been missing you all day. All week." he mumbled against my neck.

I had a bitchy thought of, whose fault is that? But I brushed it away. So what if I hadn't _really_ seen him for almost 3 weeks, that was fine for me!

Who needed Dick!

I surely didn't!

I was above Dick!

But...not.

I had fallen hard for the jackass.

Crap.

"I can't skip, gym." I said slowly disentangling him from me.

"Why? So you can go talk to my dweeby brother. I think not." Dick sneered.

I had seen the bad side of Dick. At school, but never when I was alone with him, it wasn't our thing. We just did stuff, yelled sometimes, but when we yelled we were bother pissed, not just one person. And I wasn't even sure what I did.

Why was it such a big deal I was talking to Cassidy?

"Why is it such a big deal that I'm talking to Cassidy, anyway?" I asked crossing my arms. "It's not like I'm having a secret affair with _him_!" I said glad that it was dark and he couldn't see me smirk.

I heard him groan and I was pretty sure he was running a hand through his hair. "Whatever. Talk to him! Do whatever you want, I'll call you later."

For a booty call, I finished staring at him as he left the closets. I ran a hand through my hair and hoped my hair looked ok, I didn't wanna be too obvious.

Then I ran to gym knowing that I was going to get a yelling from Coach Smith.

* * *

"Yo! Asshole! Over here!"

I rolled my eyes seriously hating life, hating people, and everything that I could muster to hate. I looked towards the guy who had yelled that wonderful greeting and I bit my tongue not wanting to witness the scary scene that was about to unfold.

I mentally kicked myself into coming to such a place like this.

Why o why had I agreed?

Was I seriously that into hating myself?

Was I sadistic or what?

Wanting to go to a Casablancas party!

Actually that's not true.

I was 'coincidently' invited over to the house to help Cassidy download some things to his computer.

Luckily (not) for me it was the same day as Dick's 'super cool' 09er party.

Fun Fun.

I got their before anyone had arrived but I heard them all arrive and I mentally kicked myself for not realizing the date. Everyone for the last week had been talking only about how cool Dick blowouts were.

And Dick had all but ignored me from that time last Wednesday in the closets.

I felt used and pretty sad.

I kept telling myself it was a fling but I couldn't really deny the facts of I-was-so-in-like-with-him-it-made-me-want-to-puke, but I could and would get over this thing.

I could beat it!

Hopefully.

After I downloaded the things to Cassidy's computer he asked me if I wanted to stay awhile, I said yes, because I kinda wanted to talk to Dick.

I haven't spotted Dick of course, I've just been wondering around the party aimlessly until I saw Veronica and Logan who pulled me to them.

"Hey EBFF!" she announced hugging me.

She was a little tipsy, but she seemed fine enough. It could be worse, she coulda thrown up on my shoes. Logan on the other hand looked down right trashed.

"This is Logan!" she said as if I was stupid. "He's my honeybee! I heart him!" she said sloppily kissing him.

He responded and soon enough they were in a gag-me-that-I'm-standing-right-here-make-out session.

Yay!

"Here, I brought us some drinks." Cassidy said smiling and handing me some Rum and Coke.

I shrugged my shoulders seeing as it couldn't really hurt and downed most of the drink in one gulp. What in God's name was I doing? Getting drunk with younger Dick?

I shook my head and took a shot from a near by tray.

Then another and another.

If Dick didn't want to notice me, fine. I wasn't going to notice him either. I would have a damn good time, without him! I would have a good time with...Cassidy.

I looked around the room feeling confused as...very drunk people usually do. Cassidy had disappeared and Logan and Veronica had left me on shot number 3.

I stood up and wobbled to the kitchen.

Shit.

I couldn't drive, and like hell if I was walking a million years. I looked around the crowded kitchen and looked for someone who looked sober.

"Mac?"

I looked around confused who had said my name, when I heard him again.

Great.

Dick.

And I was drunk as a sailor.

"Dick." I slurred smiling even though my brain thought frown.

"Why...are you drunk?" he asked surprised.

"Why aren't you?" I slurred reaching my hand out to steady him, were there suppose to be twin Dicks?

"Mac? Are you ok?"

"I kinda got drunk. It was on impulse. You were ignoring me, and Cassidy was being nice, and I was having a hard life." I slurred looking at the Dick to my left. Then I turned to the Dick to my right. "I'm sorry." I slurred patting where his shoulder was suppose to be, all I felt was air. Was I hallucinating?

"Mac?" he asked again. "How much have you had to drink?"

"A couple shots, some rum and coke, uh...I think a beer." I said closing my eyes and enjoying the rocking sensation that had come over me.

"Let's go lay you down." he muttered taking my arm and leading me upstairs.

I recognized where he stuck me, in his room and before my head hit the pillow I was asleep. I opened my eyes what felt like a few minutes later and was a little disturbed when I heard the door open.

"Whose their?" I felt still a little drunk but at least I wasn't seeing double.

"Mac." I laid back down on the bed and turned over in my sleep.

"Mac." he said again.

I ignored him and felt my eyes close again.

"Mac, can we do it yet?" he moaned in my ear.

My eyes popped open as I felt where his hand was going and I smelled the liquor on his breath.

No.

Not like this.

Not when I was drunk as can be!

And he was even more drunk.

I opened my mouth to tell him no when his mouth was on mine and his hands where all over me. And I couldn't say no because my entire body was humming and I was moaning and thinking yes, yes and yes!

* * *

I was in a soft place.

A nice soft place.

With nice pillows and—Holy Shit I was in Dick's bed!

My eyes snapped open and I recognized the surroundings. Oh yeah, I was in his bedroom.

And naked.

And sore.

And Holy Jesus!

I had sex with Dick! I moaned and rolled over coming in contact with a body.

Oh, god!

Did I have a threesome?

I peeked at the body and breathed a sigh of relief.

It was just Dick, but still, I had slept with Dick.

As in Madison's Dick as in popular 09er Dick.

I slowly got up off the bed, got dressed, and snuck out of the house. Thanking my lucky stars no one stopped me. I rushed home and into my room wondering if anyone even noticed I was gone.

Thank god, no.

It was a Sunday so I stayed in most of the day ignoring my cell when it rang, which was, like, once. And when I checked to see who I had missed it was my mom telling me to take the garbage out. I still haven't taken the garbage out and it was around sunset.

Finally Monday came around and I dreaded going to school and seeing people. Especially a certain blonde haired boy. But my day went on normally and I expertly dodged any tall blonde boys coming down the hall.

Too bad it was nearing History.

Crap.

I would have to see him.

I got into the class early and went to sit in my spot near the window and took out my history book and notes we hadn't finished yesterday. I braced myself when people came filing into the class, but no one unusual came to sit by me.

My teacher started rambling about the Civil War and I found myself drifting off, until that familiar vibration ran up my leg.

Someone was txting me.

_Wht happend yesterday? _

_Nuthin. I had 2 get home. _

_Y? _

_My parents would've been worried. _

_I was worried! U weren't next 2 me. It was weird._

I looked over towards Dick who was staring back at me and I automatically felt a little guilty. Dick was worried about _me_! How strange is that? And why did he care so much? I would've figured he'd wanna dump me once we did it.

_Sry, I din't wanna get in trouble. _

_What r u doing after skool? _

_Nuthin. Y? _

_Let's drive somewhere. _

And before I knew it I had hit 'o' and 'k'.

Strange.

The day finished quickly and I met Dick over by his car.

"What do you wanna do?"

He laughed and gestured for me to get in.

"Aren't you worried someone will see you?" I asked a little unsure as I got in.

"No. Madison isn't here, and Logan and Veronica are in the janitor's closet. Beside's you're my study partner."

"Right." I muttered buckling my seat belt.

I momentarily forgot about my car, and made a mental note to come back to school and get it.

"Let's go to the beach." he said finally.

"The beach?" I asked laughing. "That's special." I remarked opening my bag to get some sunglasses out.

"I know." he said not catching the sarcasm.

I rolled my eyes as I put the shades on and looked out the window.

"It's nice." he said quietly looking through the window shield.

"It's one of the few things I like about living in Neptune. We are so close to the beach." I said quietly as he parked the car and we got out.

I was happy I had worn shorts that day because it was really hot. But I was a little mad at myself for wearing a long sleeve t-shirt, although I had a cami underneath it. When I took the longer shirt off I heard Dick whistle and I laughed rolling my eyes. We walked down to the beach together hand in hand and I placed my feet in the water.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the ocean breeze and Dick's hand in my own. Until I felt him drop it and grab my waist and throwing me into the salty cool water.

"DICK!" I sputtered standing up and not at all happy to see my white cami sticking to me.

"DICK!" I should again brushing some hair off my face and running after him as he laughed along the beach.

Honestly being with Dick was like being with a 2 year old.

I finally caught up to him and pushed him into the water. He dragged me down with him and when we came up I was immediately pushed back down.

Being pushed down into water was not fun especially by the guy you had slept with a little over 48 hrs ago. But the only reason he would push me back under water was because Madison was there.

Shit.

I swam towards the pier underneath it I finally stood up feeling whoozy from not breathing enough. I saw him yelling with Madison and had a happy thought of them breaking up, and him getting with me.

Of course not though.

They were 'the couple' of high school. I watched as they fought and finally she left looking pissed and I saw Dick looking towards the water with a confused look on his face. He spotted me under the pier though, finally and started walking towards me with a goofy grin on his face.

"Hey." he said sitting down and kissing my lips.

He tasted like salt.

He throw an arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer, it felt good to be there, he was cool and wet, and smelling like the ocean.

It was nice, having that feeling swimming in my body. I knew it wasn't love because well, I couldn't love him, and he couldn't love me.

It would complicate things too much.

He kissed me again, softly this time and soon enough I found myself on the soft sand being kissed by Dick.

A sexy and wet Dick.

* * *

When I got home late that night I was in an ecstasy I had been feeling lately when I was with Dick. But when I went into the living room to say 'hi' to my parents I saw them hooked on the tv.

The news to be more precise.

Some news about a death.

Some news about a murdered girl named, Lilly Kane.

Oh.

My.

God.

(A/n: How was it? Long I know. Damn. Really gotta start my homework now! I hope you liked it! And weren't confused on any parts or anything.)


	3. I'm Out Of Feeling

**A/n:** Thank you to everyone that is enjoying the story and reveiwing it! I'm excited! lol. So I forgot to say that the title of the chapters are lyrics from the song! whoops. and they aren't owned by me but by the horrorpops! I decided to update today cause it's the season finale of Veronica Mars! really excited! i thought I wasn't gonna be able to watch it! but I cant! uh oh! I should hurry this up! so happy prezzie!

* * *

_I've got nothing to say  
I'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained _

_Caught in a Blonde By Horrorpops_

* * *

**Chapter 3:** **I'm Out Of Feeling  
**It's weird, when someone dies, you know? It's like one day they're there and the next it's like poof! Hasta Lavasta, baby.

It's not like me and Lilly were BFF's or anything, but she didn't deserve to die. She was young and full of life. People who are like Lilly Kane aren't people that just are alive one day and dead the next. It's weird and unnatural. I mean, she wasn't the nicest person in the world, perhaps she was on the other side of nice, like all the way on the other side of nice, but she was Lilly, Lilly Kane is just not suppose to die. She's supposed to be the ruling Queen of Neptune till she graduates and goes off to be the Queen in the next place she arrives. It's just weird thinking of someone so popular, so envied, turning up dead. And in school it was even weirder, you expected to see her swinging her hips down the hallway and ruling the school.

She wasn't.

And wouldn't ever again.

The school had a day off, for remembering her or something I just sat in my bed and stared at the wall wondering how this whole thing (meaning Dick and myself. Of course I was just that self-absorbed to think of myself on the day of one of the most known people in Neptune's death) was going to change.

Would Dick be messed up or something? Would he even talk to me? Maybe this thing would put his life in perspective and he'd dump me. How would this even effect me? Poor Veronica losing her best friend! And Logan? How was he taking it. Then Duncan wasn't exactly going to be dancing around with a bouquet of flowers.

Every time I thought of Lilly Kane's murder I felt nauseous and sick. I'm not sure why, though.

The day after our day off the school was almost silent. No one did anything weird out on the quad and no one cracked any jokes. It was like a graveyard. I noticed Veronica, Logan, and Duncan weren't there.

It was like the school had lost their star pupil and in a way they did, Lilly Kane was kinda the heart of the school. She lived and breathed School spirit and school pride. She was on the prep squad or whatever it was called. She was popular and she dated all the boys. It was almost like losing the principal.

Except everyone hated our principal and everyone loved Lilly.

I had probably said maybe a sentence to her in my entire high school career, but I just remembered this one time where in like 7th grade we had a project together and I went to her house. It was a gorgeous house, huge, luxurious, decorated to perfection, basically what Lilly was. And I remember us working on the project, how fun it was. We ate ice cream then did the project, her parents was so nice, then we swam in her pool. I felt like Lilly was my best friend then, even though she wasn't. That was, like, the last time I ever talked to her.

But as I sat on my bed in my room from the time I woke up to the time I went downstairs for dinner, all I could think about was my one and only memory with Lilly Kane.

And now, she was gone.

Forever.

* * *

Her funeral was that Friday, I decided to miss school for it. Everyone else was, too, except maybe the freshman. I walked into the gigantic church and took a seat in the second to last row, all alone. I was wearing a short black dress and black heels, I felt hot and uncomfortable in the church.

I saw people walk in from school in their black clothes too, looking mournful and depressed. I wondered if I would see Dick and Madison there, but I quickly banished that thought since I was at a funeral and only really sick people thought about having sex at funerals.

I shook my head and turned towards the front of the church ready to be consumed with grief for the murder of Lilly Kane.

Eventually once everyone was settled the ceremony started and I was ready to mourn. The priest talked on and on and I saw Dick and Logan wobble into the church looking thoroughly drunk and I prayed they would not sit or see me.

Too bad God wasn't listening too me today cause they came noisily towards me 'whispering.'

"Are you enjoying the service, Mac?" Dick whispered. Dick wasn't actually whispering, because Dick's drunken whisper was mostly how normal people talked.

I sank lower in my seat when people turned towards us to give us dirty looks.

"Mackie! Oh Mackie! You wanna come over tonight? I can make your favorite! Dick a la mode. We can put some sexy music on and make our bodies into sundaes. I might even give you a taste of my special banana split," he 'whispered' as I sank lower and lower, blushing as red as fire truck.

There was an old lady in front of us who was crying. When she heard Dick say that she turned around and glared. Has a crying scary old lady ever glared at you?

Well now I can say one has.

I glanced over at Logan who seemed very interested in a piece of string hanging from his shirt. I rolled my eyes at the both of them for how they decide to deal with death.

"Ghostworld? Are you going to answer me?" Dick yelled in my ear.

I put my head down in my hand and scooted away from him. He smelled like hard liquor and weed. I finally whispered to him though because I saw someone heading over to us, they had a stern/pissed off look on their face.

"Dick, not now. It's a funeral." I said slapping his hand off my knee.

"Come on Mac! I'm horny!" he whined loud enough for the people in the front to stare at us.

Sadly (if it couldn't get anymore sad since I was at a funeral) Veronica was in the front looking very distraught and tear stricken. I felt horrible then and I looked over at Logan who had started laughing hysterically.

What were they doing?

This was a funeral for god's sake! I stood up before the stern man came over to us and tell us to get the hell out, and I walked out. I was know going to be known as the girl who was hit on by a drunken Dick at Lilly Kane's funeral.

Great.

* * *

After the funeral disaster I went home and to my room. I really didn't want to show my face ever again in Neptune. I curled into a ball on the bed and closed my eyes. Maybe when I woke up this whole funeral would be a dream.

Please.

Please.

Falling asleep in my funeral clothes wasn't fun for the record, when I woke up my dress was all twisty and my tights were feeling very uncomfortable. I looked around for the noise that had awoken me from my dreamless sleep when I finally found the annoying piece of crap and answered it, of course it went to voicemail. Damn my slowness.

I listened to the message and sighed, it was Carly telling me that she was sorry, she had heard about Lilly Kane's murder and she wanted to check if I was ok. I called her back but got her own voicemail.

I set my phone down and looked at the alarm clock by my bed, 10:30 it read. I sat up straighter noticing the darkness that had occurred since I fell asleep and I went over to my closet to change into jeans and a t-shirt. After changing I decided to leave my house, I couldn't stand the silence anymore, plus I couldn't sleep.

I got into my car and drove down to the beach. I walked across the sandy ground and sat close to the water. Digging my feet into the cool sand I stared at the dark blue ocean. I loved the ocean. It was quiet and serene and oh, so---

"Get away from me!"

I looked over towards the screaming couple coming my way and I wished desperately for something to hide under. I hate people yelling 1) it's load and annoying 2) I felt like I was invading someone's privacy and 3) there's no point other then to let the other person know your really REALLY mad, because they don't understand from the vicious words coming out of your mouth.

People suck.

"Veronica! Come back!"

I inwardly moaned and hoped they didn't notice me. To help not notice me I stared down at the soft sand and tried to look as invisible as possible. Of course that wasn't too hard when it was 11 at night and pitch black.

Of course Veronica and Logan would be arguing on MY beach and of course I'd be there to see it!

Marvelous.

"Get away Logan! I just...How can you have done that today? What kind of messed up person does that at a funeral!?"

"What kind of messed up person blames the father for the murder of his daughter?" Logan yelled back and I seriously thought of getting up before they noticed they had an audience.

"Shut up! He had proof! And if you don't like my dad then maybe I can't continue to see you!" Veronica yelled back.

"Ronnie! You know I like your dad I'm just saying...how can he blame Jake Kane? I mean this is her father we are talking about! Not some random guy or something."

"What about your father? Can you see him doing this?"

There was a pause and I heard whisperers of sorry.

"No you're right, my dad would do something like that, but not Jake Kane you saw how he was with Lilly, he loved her. It wasn't Jake Kane, your dad has the wrong man, Veronica that's all I'm saying." Logan said louder then a whisper but quieter then his normal voice.

I heard Veronica take a big breath in and let it out and then I heard the rustling of clothing and guessed they were hugging. Then I heard lips smacking and I quietly stood up and headed towards my car. My mind was reeling; Jake Kane might have murdered Lilly Kane? No Way!

"Mac?"

I froze walking towards my car and looked at Veronica and Logan in their embrace and for a split second I was envious. Envious of the fact they got to hold each other while I was the woman in the background. I wasn't aloud to date anyone else but Dick (according to him) and I was put second for everything.

Logan put Veronica first for everything. They loved each other so much, you could see it, but what were my feelings towards Dick? I ignored him in school but outside of school, when we are together...did I love him then? Was I _in love_ with Dick? This was the topic on my mind so much lately. I either did one day or didn't the next. There are so many things that I could love about him and the other stuff I hated. Dick was confusing. And so were my feelings for him.

"Yes?" I asked hesitantly.

"I...did you go to the funeral?" Veronica asked smiling a little.

"Uh...yeah. But I...kinda didn't stay."

"Oh! Dick was harassing you, right?" Logan said looking at me and I felt my face go red.

Thank god it was dark.

"Right. Yeah, Dick was defiantly harassing me."

"I'm sorry, he's such an ass." Veronica said smiling sadly at me. "Actually now that I think of it, I did see you. Dick was like hanging off you, right?"

I nodded feeling stiff and nervous. Veronica would figure it out; she was the daughter of a PI for god's sake! "Right." I said again.

"Jeez." she said shaking her head. "That guy is so annoying! First he's all over you, then making out with Madison at the reception then I heard he was going to some party tonight. Imagine what he'll do at the party."

I sighed, nodding again and already feeling depressed and craving ice-cream to heal my hearting heart. Crap I think I did actually love him. That's messed up loving Dick Cassablancas, is like loving a womanizing asshole, oh wait! That IS Dick!

I rolled my eyes at my jealous wondering mind and bit out a very unneeded reply. "I hate that damn jackass! He's such a womanizing asshole! He should go die in a freaking pit! All over every women out there! Can't he be loyal to...Madison! I mean, maybe she actually really likes him, maybe loves him she can't choose! I mean what kind of insane person loves a jackass? What the hells wrong with m-her!" Veronica and Logan stared at me. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." I whispered heading towards my car.

Before I started my car I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. It worked, until I turned the car on and the radio came blasting out, Come Sail Away by Styx. I shook my head and felt my hands start to shake. This song was what I listened to when I was feeling emo about something.

The radio was reading my mind.

This sucks.

Dick got me feeling all depressed and emo because he was with other women. He didn't deserve me. Why did I keep going back to him? I was such an idiot. I thought I was in love with him, he just wanted me for some nookie.

Damn! I'm not in love with him!

I swear!

It's just my mind playing a trick on me!

I drove home silently listening to Come Sail Away, and thinking about how I should go sail away and totally leave.

It was so tempting.

I got into the house and up to my bedroom. The light was off and I didn't think much of it, it was always off after all. I turned it on and started to get into my pjs when I heard a 'stop.'

I screamed and jumped shoving my shirt in front of my boobs.

"What the hell, DICK!" I screamed staring at him lying on my bed.

"Stop screaming I have a headache." he moaned pulling a blanket over his head.

"What are you doing here?" I asked racking a hand through my hair.

"What do you think? Dude, I'm looking for you." he said.

"Why?" I asked feeling like I was left out of something.

"Because...I just wanted to! Do you have a problem with it?"

I laughed quietly and grabbed my over-sized t-shirt to put on. "No, I don't have a problem with it. What happened?" I asked thinking of what Veronica had said about Madison and the party.

"Uh...I just...wanted to be with you, is all. Nothing happened."

I smiled going over to sit next to him ignoring the fact I'd probably be sleeping in jeans. "Why?" I asked again laying my head on his shoulder.

"I just did, isn't that good enough?" he said gruffly wrapping an arm around me.

I smiled curling closer to him and closing my eyes. "If that's all your gonna tell me, then yeah. It's good enough."

Right then and there, I was content. And pretty sure I was out of denial. I was for sure helplessly in love with the womanizing Jackass, Dick Casablancas. I had no doubts, and that fact scared me most of all.


	4. You're Out Of the Game

**A/n: **So thank you to _Adja _and _Haylieeee _for the reviews! I'm glad your enjoying it. In this chapterI can't exactly remember the order that happened at Shelly's party so don't kill me if it's not exactly, plus I changed some things. I hope you like chapter 4! So sad that the show is ending! I was so surprised this show could, in my opinion go on for awhile. wtf. happened? ANywho! Chapter 4!

**Chapter 4:** **You're out of the game**

* * *

_I've got nothing to say  
I'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained _

_ -Caught in a Blonde by Horrorpops_

* * *

The days were getting warmer, then usual and the teachers were loading up on school work. Finals were approaching rapidly and the teachers were trying to fit in last minute details all this could only mean one thing; School was ending.

School ending meant two things. One, Shelly Pomroy's end of school party and two a long hot American summer doing...nothing. Next year I would be coming back a junior, a junior, that's almost to college.

I sat in my therapists office staring at the cover of People wondering why she was taking a million years when the door opened and she called my name. I followed Julia into her large air conditioned office and I sat on the same chair she always points at.

"So, Cindy, how have you been?"

"A girl at my school died."

"I heard, her name was Lilly Kane?"

I nodded raking a hand through my newly highlighted hair.

"How's Dick?" she asked an eery smile on her face.

"Good, I guess. He's...fine." I stuttered not wanting to think about him.

"How's your relationship?"

"Good." I muttered looking down at my hands.

"Good." she said quietly. "So is there anything you would like to talk about?"

I shook my head waiting for her to bring a topic up, which she always did.

"Well, ok, so how has school been? When are you getting out?"

And I zoned out the rest of the session giving her answers she wanted to hear and so on.

After an hour I left the building like I always did and headed towards my car. I hated my car, it was awful, all big and falling apart. I sighed getting into it and driving out of the parking lot and to Starbucks to grab a frappacino. I parked in the parking lot of Starbucks took a book in and stood in the long line to get my yummy treat.

As I stood in the long line I got to thinking about Dick. I hadn't seen him lately, not since the funeral. I think he was ashamed of his actions, or maybe it was hopeful thinking, I don't know. Nevertheless I hadn't seen him, intimately and it was starting to annoy me.

Just as I was starting to feel hateful feelings towards Dick my phone rang and I happily answered it thinking it was him.

"Hello?" I asked smiling but slowly the smile faded away as I heard a female voice.

"Hey, Mac, what's up?" Veronica muttered into the phone.

Immediately I felt guilty, Veronica had just lost her best friend and I was being a bitch for thinking about Dick and our lack of communication, lately or ever some to think of it. "Nothing, you?" I asked trying to sound happy.

"Yeah...nothing."

It was silent on both ends of the phone and I felt awkward sitting on the phone where you are in fact suppose to talk, not talking.

"Well, Mac there was a reason I called."

"Ok...what is it?"

"Can you come to a party with me?"

I was very surprised because 1) Veronica had become a social outcast since her father accused Jake Kane of killing Lilly. The sherif lost his job and I heard they were moving. And Veronica had lost all power with the 09ers. Apart from Logan who had chosen to stay with her, making him a social outcast too. And 2) I don't go to parties, I'm not invited to parties, unless you count Dick's which I don't because I was accidently there.

"Oh." I said still surprised then blurted, "sure."

"Really? Great! It's Shelly's, Saturday night."

"That's tonight." I muttered starting to panic.

"Oh it is! Silly me! Well, I'll go over to your place at 8 and we can get ready."

Then she hung up and I sat there stunned.

Very stunned.

I was just invited to one of the most exclusive parties of the year. I finished my frappacino and got back into my car. I drove home still stunned and got into my house.

"Cindy? Is that you?"

I rolled my eyes at my mothers voice wondering who the hell she thought it was.

"Yes." I said as she came into the room.

"How was your appointment?" my mother asked smiling at me.

"Fine." I bit out wanting to cross my arms but didn't. It was too typical teenage poseurs. My parents always made fun of those poseurs.

"Can I go to a party tonight?" I blurted.

My mom stared at me then smiled. "Sure!" and she walked off.

I was surprised, I always thought my parents were one of those parents who wanted to call and stuff before hand. I guess not. I watched TV until 8 came and the doorbell rang.

I got off the couch and answered the door glad to see Veronica. She held 3 bags of clothes and a bag of make-up. Pushing past me and looking around the living room she said, "Where's your room?"

"Uh...upstairs." I muttered leading her to my room.

"Cool, now where are your clothes..." she said sifting through my closet.

I looked through her make-up bag and smirked. "And who is going to wear all this make-up?" I asked looking at her.

"Us, duh!" she said as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

It wasn't, not to me.

Picking out some clothes I hadn't worn in ages she asked me if these fit. I nodded as she throw them on the bed next to her bags. I looked at her wondering if this is how she dealt with death, by making another person take the deceased persons place.

I was, I guess, suppose to take Lilly's place.

I wasn't Lilly.

I would never be Lilly.

And I hoped she knew I would never be Lilly.

"Oh." I said looking at the clothes she'd thrown on the bed. No way was I wearing that skirt. Or that 'shirt.' I say shirt like that because it was more of a piece of cloth not a shirt. I thought I'd thrown those away. Carly had gotten the clothes as a gag gift. I gagged, and swore I'd never wear those.

"I'm not wearing those." I said pointing to the outfit.

"Of course you are!" Veronica said flipping her long blonde hair.

"Where's Logan?" I blurted.

"Oh, he's out of town. His family wanted to get in a vacation when Aaron is between movies."

"Is that why I'm your date?" I asked with a smirk.

"Yep! I can't go alone!"

"Then why go at all?"

"I want to show those...people that I'm not weak and I can withstand their gossip about me. I don't care what they say, I'm still apart of that group. Even though my dad isn't sheriff anymore, and Lilly's...gone doesn't mean I'm out of the group. I don't care if they talk about me or they hate me I am still in that group." she said looking at the bags she brought.

"Oh." I said. "I'm sure they still like you, they just don't know how to deal with...everything."

"No, they hate me. They hate everyone." Veronica said quietly picking out some clothes.

"Veronica..." I started but she interrupted me by asking which shirt looked better with her jean skirt.

By 9 o'clock we were ready to go, me in a short black skirt and a pink (I know, pink! Ew) tube top and Veronica in all white. With her long blonde hair and all white outfit she reminded me of an angel or something.

"Are you ready?" she asked smiling at me.

I nodded looking at my whorey outfit and sighed. "Ready as I will be."

"Good, lets go." We got into her car and drove to Shelly's house.

"Thanks for coming with me, by the way. I don't know what I would do if I did this alone." Veronica said parking on the street.

"Your welcome, thanks for asking me."

"Let's go."

We walked in together and everyone's eyes turned to us. I wasn't sure if it was because of me or because Veronica wasn't really invited to 09er parties anymore. It was like Moses parting the Red Sea. I tried to look anywhere but at the people looking at us, so I looked straight ahead following Veronica's lead. I looked at Veronica who was in front of me and was surprised to see she was drinking what looked to be coke.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked her as everyone slowly went back to whatever they were doing.

"Someone handed it to me." she said shrugging and taking a sip.

"Oh, well I'm gonna go get a drink." I said leaving her and going to go get a drink.

"Ok, I'll be around!" she called as I walked away.

I got behind some people in line for some drinks at the bar.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

I winced turning and seeing Madison Sinclair. Crap. "Madison." I said sweetly.

"I repeat why the hell are you here?" Madison asked sticking her hips out.

"Because I feel like ruining your life." I said smirking at her.

"Really? Cause you are! All Dick ever talks about is you and ever since Lilly died he's been, like—"

"I don't care." I said interrupting her, grabbing a drink, and turning away.

"I was talking to you!" she screamed after me as I continued walking and ignoring her.

I walked around the house, bored, looking for Veronica. The party was pretty boring if you weren't drunk, high, or with a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Finally when I came full circle to where I had walked in I saw Veronica sitting on the couch surrounded by people. I sighed going over to her wondering why all of a sudden she was so friendly with people.

Then I noticed she was all over Dick and instead of Madison glaring at me she was glaring at Veronica who was dangerously close to kissing him. Then he whispered something in her ear and she turned to Shelly sitting next to her and kissed her.

I was so stunned I dropped my drink. Luckily it was so loud no one noticed. I watched Shelly and Veronica make out for a few minutes until Dick tapped her again and pointed to Casey who was sitting next to Shelly.

I watched as she basically made out with everyone sitting on that couch. I didn't know wether to feel disgusted or not. Maybe she was drunk, I wasn't sure and I didn't want to judge her, she was having a hard time, right?

I stood there watching her until she placed her lips on Dick's that's when I finally turned around and went back to the bar, I needed to erase all that had happened from my mind, it was too disgusting to process. It was even more disturbing to see her make out with Dick.

I felt all these emotions well up in me, emotions I didn't want to deal with. Emotions where my heart felt like it was being ripped from me. I drank a couple shots and was suddenly feeling woozy. I saw Beaver out of the corner of my eye and I throw myself on him.

"Beaver!" I slurred ignoring the look he gave me.

"Hey Mac." he said pulling my fingers off him and placing me more steady on my feet.

"Are you ok?" he asked looking at me.

I shook my head feeling tears well up in my eyes. I've noticed I'm much more vulnerable when I'm drunk.

"No! The love of my life just made out with my friend. How am I suppose to deal with that!?" I whined taking another shot from someone's hand.

"I think you should stop." Beaver said taking my hand in his.

"No! Get away!" I said stumbling away from him.

I heard him shout my name but I ignored it wanting to talk to someone else. I made it outside with some difficulty, I ran into some guy who I didn't know.

"Hi." I slurred wrapping my arms around him.

"Hi." he said looking at me with raised eyebrows. "I know you." he said smiling. "Your that girl in my English class, right?"

I nodded having no idea what he just said and just looking into his blue eyes. They were really pretty blue eyes.

"I'm Sam." he said placing his hands on the small of my back.

"Mac." I said smiling at him.

"Well Mac I never would have thought you'd come to a party like this. Are you here with anyone?"

"Not anymore." I whispered leaning my head forward to kiss him.

I knew that he was surprised and I couldn't blame him I wasn't the impulsive type. I didn't kiss people without knowing more about them. For all I knew this guy could be a rapist surreal killer. But it was highly unlikely since he was in high school.

We stood there making out for a few minutes until I heard a commotion over by the pool. I pulled away and saw Veronica sitting on a sun lounger looking thoroughly drunk as people surrounded her doing body shots off her.

I felt sick watching it, but all I could think of was her lips on Dick's. I saw two 09er's Meg Manning and her boyfriend Cole looking over at Veronica. Meg was saying how she wanted to help her, and as tipsy as I was I felt the same way. She was my friend and she had just had a really hard time. Before I could excuse myself from Sam I saw someone take Veronica and hoist her away.

I shrugged thinking she was in good hands and went back to kissing Sam.

"What the hell!?"

I heard a voice yell and I automatically felt my self stiffen. No, no no! He couldn't do that to me! He'd just made out with one of my only friends in front of his girlfriend.

Sam broke our kiss and looked towards the voice. I looked over too and saw Dick looking pissed off.

"What. The. Hell." he said seething looking at me then Sam.

"Dude, what's—"

But that was as far as Sam got because Dick punched him.

"Dick!" I yelled going in front of him. "Stop!" I slurred placing a hand on his chest.

"Are you drunk?" he yelled in my face. I smelled tequilia on his own breath. "Your such a hypocrite! _Dick don't drunk it's not good! You do bad things! _Well guess what, Mackie, your doing bad things right now! Your making out with someone who isn't me!"

I glared at him. "So what! You do too! What's your problem?! I'm not yours! I'm not a thing or something, I can make out with whoever I want!" I yelled getting in his face.

"No you can't!" He yelled back.

All I did was roll my eyes then looked down at Sam who was holding his bleeding nose. He wasn't worth it. I looked back at Dick who was still pissed off.

"We're done." I said quietly then turning and walking away.

I needed to get Veronica and get the hell out of here. I heard Dick yelling then Madison's shrill voice asking 'why the hell her boyfriend was so, like, pissed.'

I walked around the party not being able to find her slowly I was coming to until, I saw Dick again and I grabbed a beer. He was looking pissy and pouting. I saw Cassidy following him looking like a lost puppy. When Dick saw me he through a glare at me then stalked off. I sighed sipping some beer and looking around the crowded house for Veronica.

By 2 my cell phone rang and I found a bathroom to talk to my mother in. I told her I was sleeping over Veronica's and would be back around 12 or so. She said fine and we hung up and I went back to look for Veronica.

By 3 I was pretty trashed again and nervous because Veronica was MIA. I stumbled back out by the pool where I hadn't went since the Dick-Sam-Me thing. I was seeing double of everything and I felt so hot.

Hot all over.

Before I knew it I was in the pool almost naked. I heard laughter all around me and that's when I blacked out.

(A/n: So how was it? I think I made Mac a little OOC. If I ask for reviews will you think less of me? pout)


	5. Go Have A Whole Lot Of Nothing With Her

A/n: Right now this is my favorite story to write, so I have updated super early! Thank you to everyone whose been checking the story out! And reading! And reviewing! thank you! The last chapter was pretty intense, this one I'm expceting will be too. Everyone who reviewed thought that Mac was drugged and I was thinking that only Veronica would be drugged, but then I got to thinking maybe Mac should have been drugged so...here's 5!

* * *

i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained

-Caught in a Blonde By HorrorPops

* * *

**Chapter 5:** **Go Have A Whole Lot of Nothing With Her**

When I woke up I was lying on warm concrete in my underwear and bra.

What.

The.

Hell.

I sat up immediately and looked for my discarded clothes. I was the only one laying there but I saw no clothes. Getting up I looked in the pool for my clothes but I saw nothing anywhere. I grabbed a towel laying around and wrapped it around myself and started to walk towards where we parked last night. There I found 'Slut' written on Veronica's car and no Veronica in sight.

"Mac?"

I turned around and saw Veronica coming towards me looking just as bad as I felt.

"Mac? What happened?" Veronica wheezed.

"I...don't know." I said rubbing my head. The last thing I remember was Dick beating up that guy...Sam. Then me going to get something else to drink, that was all I remember. But I wasn't going to tell her that she made out with Dick it was too painful to even think about let alone say out loud.

"I'm sorry." she said miserably.

"Don't be, I came on my own." I said quietly tightening the towel around me.

"Well, I guess we should clean my car then get home. I'll get you some clothes before you go home."

"Sounds good." I said tucking some hair behind my ear.

An hour later we were driving back to Veronica's to get me clothes and try and figure out what happened. At least I was. I remember Veronica acting unlike Veronica, I remember running into Cassidy, I remember getting slightly tipsy and making out with Sam because I was pissed, and I remember Dick and me breaking up. After that it was a blank, a big fat blank.

"I think I was drugged." Veronica muttered as we parked in a parking lot.

This must be where she moved to, I thought suddenly looking at the place. We walked into her apartment and seeing no one we went to Veronica's room.

"Where's your mom? And dad?" I asked sifting through her clothes. I had a moment of deja vu with Veronica doing the same to me.

"My mom...left a couple days ago. And dad is out on a job."

"Oh." I said not knowing what else to say. "Oh." I said again.

"It's ok, I'm over it." she said but something in her voice told me she wasn't.

"When's Logan get back?" I asked going over to sit on her bed.

"In a week." she muttered.

"Veronica..." I started looking directly at her. "I remember something."

She looked up hopefully and I bit my lip wondering how I was going to say it. "You got a drink, we were walking in and you got a drink somehow. I left to get a drink of my own then I didn't find you and...you were sitting on the couch...with...Dick and some 09ers." I said my voice getting quieter and quieter.

"Oh, is that all?"

"Well...you kinda...kissed...some of them." I said even quieter.

"Oh." she said her face hardening and her jaw clenched.

"I thought you were just a little tipsy." I said quietly. "That's all I remember."

"Mac, I think I was drugged." She said not looking at me. "Are you sure you can't remember either?"

I nodded. "I think you were, too."

"Veronica, I don't think so."

"Why don't you think so?"

"I drank a lot, maybe I was just drunk or something. I mean, the last thing I remember was getting a drink after making out with some guy." I said shrugging.

She raised her eyebrows at me, "I was pissed and drunk and was looking to make someone jealous." I said defensively.

"Oh really, who?"

I felt my cheeks redden and I got up and grabbed a shirt. "I think I should go. My mom wants me home by 12. Thanks for the shirt."

"Welcome." she said as I walked out in an outfit too tight for me and totally not mine.

When I got home I saw a note on the refrigerator telling me they'd be back soon. By they, I meant my parents and little brother, Ryan. I got to my room showered and changed into an boxers and a t-shirt. I went downstairs to get something to eat when the doorbell rang. Going over to answer it I was surprised and embarrassed to see Dick at the door.

"What do you want?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Hey! I'm the one in pain here." Dick said pushing past me and into my house.

"I repeat, what do you want?"

Dick looked down and sighed, "your...forgiveness."

"Why?"

"Dude! I'm trying to apologize here, for last night."

I rubbed a hand over my wet hair and sighed. "I don't remember last night." I stated staring into his pretty eyes.

"You don't remember last night." he stated more then asked. He was staring at me, like I had something in my teeth. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah." I said nodding and walking towards my kitchen.

"You don't remember last night?"

"How many times do I have to repeat it, Dick! I. Don't. Remember. Last. Night."

"So you don't remember when you made out with that guy and then we broke up."

"We were never going out." I said taking some bagels out to eat.

"And you don't remember when you almost drowned?"

"No." I said looking at him confused. When was I in water? I didn't go swimming. Was that after I got my other drink?

"I saved you." he said proudly puffing his chest out.

"I doubt that." I said breaking the bagel up and putting it in the toaster.

"I did! I saw you drowning and I gave you CDR."

"CPR." I corrected. "Dick, weren't you drunk last night?" I asked wondering why I didn't close the door in his face when he had knocked.

"Well...I sobered up to save you."

"Romantic." I muttered just as the bagel popped.

"Mac, do you remember that guy you made out with?"

"It depends do you remember who you made out with?" I bitterly bit back at him.

I grabbed my bagel to butter while he still stood there not saying anything.

"Uh...why?"

I rolled my eyes while buttering the second bagel. Finally I turned to him. "This isn't working." I said wishing I wouldn't cry when I said this. I figure out I love Dick just when I need to break up with him, for cheating, how typical.

"What? Us? We aren't working?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. Time for bitchiness to come out. I had three defensive mechanisms, denial, bitchiness, and sarcasm. I didn't use all three often, I didn't even use one often but this was a special occasion.

"Yes, Dick, we aren't working. I mean, you have Madison. You always had Madison. Madison is the girl you're gonna marry someday because you want a hott rich trophy wife. I'm not a trophy wife. I have goals, unlike Madison, I'm achieved and smart, unlike you. I'm not like either of you 09ers, I never was, and I never will be I'm just the...help to your rich mansion. I'm the knife to cut the bagel. I just help you figure out what you really want and you really want a willing girlfriend who you can take out in public. Now, get out of my house." I said pointing to the door as he stood there dumbfounded. "Now." I said as he slowly turned away and out of my house.

"You're not just the help and you're not the willing girlfriend who I want to take out in public. You were ashamed of me too, Mac but that didn't really bother me. I was just happy to be with you, alone with you. You're not like anyone I've ever known before, you're special. At least that's what I thought before."

And he left.

Which is that I wanted from the beginning. But I wasn't expecting to feel this awful feeling inside me. This hollow sadness that is swimming in me.

That's how I spent my summer, with a hollow sadness in my chest. I barely left the house except when Carly came to visit me, but that was only for a week. I hadn't seen Veronica all summer and it didn't really bother me because I was so caught up in the blonde that had broken my heart.

I was heart broken even though I did the breaking, but I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted Dick, and Dick wanted the next piece of ass he could find, besides me and Madison. It was his fault, it was always easier just to blame him.

He was the scapegoat.

* * *

One hot evening in July I decided to go to The Java Hut for a cup of coffee. I felt like a vampire, I only went out at night, when I did go out. As I sat at one of the many tables in the Hut playing solitaire on my lab top I was surprised at who sat down at my table.

"Hey." Cassidy said smiling at me.

"Hi." I said back trying to smile. I shut my computer off, put it in its bag, then looked at Cassidy 'Beaver' Casablancas.

"Cassidy." I stated taking a sip of my coffee. "What wouldja like?" I asked as all he did was stare at me.

"I just wanted to talk. You haven't been over to 'tutor' my brother in awhile."

"It's summer." I said picking at the cake I had ordered.

"I know, just curious to know why. Madison has been over there."

I nodded feeling my fingers clench, my nails digging into my palms. I was suppose to be over this.

"Wanna talk about it?" he asked in a soothing tone.

I laughed just to keep from crying. "Not really." I said trying to make my hands loosen up.

"Are you sure? I mean, Dick's a jackass, you don't deserve him. How did he find out?"

"Find out what?"

"That you had a little crush on him. The whole Tutor-Student I bet would—"

"What are you talking about?" I asked a little loudly looking at him.

"Didn't you have a crush on him? Isn't that why you're all depressed cause he turned you down or some thing?"

I stared at him wondering where he got that crappy story from. "Who told you that I had a crush on Dick and he turned me down?"

"Uh...him."

I sputtered. No way. "Dick told you I had a crush on him—"

"A pretty big one. Like almost a psycho one."

I laughed and felt my nails start digging again. "No way. No way." I said shaking my head getting pissed.

"So you don't have a crush on him?" Cassidy asked curiously.

I looked at him and wondered vaguely why he was so into the whole thing. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you so curious?"

"Curious about what?"

I rolled my eyes exasperated. "Curious why I don't tutor Dick anymore."

"I don't know." I raised my eyebrows at him and stood up. "I never had a crush on Dick, it wasn't psycho or anything, I swear. I just am not tutoring him anymore cause he's a stupid jackass and it's summer."

I left not knowing where I should go next. I needed to get out of here I would go anywhere. Sighing I got into my car and drove as far as I could, until I had to pay for gas.

* * *

The first day of Junior year.

How exciting.

Not.

I was not excited about facing Dick, or Beaver, or anyone. I walked through the doors I had gotten to know so well, and I went to my locker. My nice lonely locker, right by Meg Manning standing with the one and only Madison Sinclair.

Yay! Hell has begun.

"Mac, looking good." Madison said smirking. "This year you are staying away from my boyfriend, you got that? No more private tutoring sessions or video game parties or whatever. Stay away from him. He told me you had some crush on him. So I'm telling you one more time, Mac, stay away."

I smiled sweetly at her, "can I get to my locker Madison? How was your summer? I hope it was as good as mine."

And she walked away with Meg trailing after her sending me sympathetic looks from over her shoulder. Opening my locker and putting/taking out things I heard someone approach me.

"Come again for round two?" I asked turning around expecting Madison.

"Uh...no." Veronica said raising an eyebrow at me. "Should I be?"

I smiled at her and shrugged. "I don't know. Wow, you cut your hair." I said gesturing to her hair which was a little below her ears.

"Yep."

"Why?"

"I needed a change."

"Right." I said nodding knowing it had something to do with Shelly's party.

"How's Logan?" I asked grabbing some more things and putting some pictures up.

"Good, we have first period together, so I should see him then." she said.

I glanced over at her and she seemed to be glowing. I missed that. "So, when did you develop a crush on Dick Casablancas? And when did you have time to stalk him this summer? And post a website with naked pictures of him on it? Someone's had a busy summer." she said smirking at me.

"Hm...I'm not sure. It might have been sometime between me going to summer camp and hell. Honesty where do people get these things." I muttered.

"Dick's spreading rumors that you have a huge crush on him and you videotaped him and Madison having sex to put on some website dedicated to him. With naked pictures of him." she said laughing a little.

"Can anyone_ find _this website?"

"Of course not! You have it under strict protection to use against him, when you want a favor, if you get my drift."

"What the hell." I said shaking my head.

"Hey Sugarpuss." Logan said coming up behind Veronica and landing a wet one on her cheek. "Hey girl-whose-stalking-Dick-and-posting-naked-pictures-of-him-AND-him-and-Madison-doing-the-deed." Logan said smiling at me.

"Hi Logan." I said feeling anger bubbling in me.

"So what exactly did you do to him to make him spread rumors like that? Unless they are in fact true." Logan asked wrapping his arms around Veronica.

"I don't know." I said feeling guilty but not saying anything suspicious.

"Ok..." Veronica said skeptically. "Bell's gonna ring soon, I'll see you at lunch?" Veronica asked walking away with Logan.

"Yeah." I muttered just as the bell rang and I hurry to my first period. Lucky me, it's with Dick.

"Oh Dick! Watch out! Your stalker is with us!" Some jackass yelled as I walked into 11 English Honors.

I briefly wondered how Dick got into the class but I banished the thought as I went to sit by the windows, as far from Dick as possible.

(A/n: So? Did it make sense? I hope it did, I was a little...blocky in some parts.)


	6. My Head is Spinning

**A/n:** This might be a lil confusing...I hope its not! I hope you guys looove it! lol. I know everyone wanted Mac to get Dick back, but don't worry she will, eventually. Thank you everyone for the reviews! I'll add more soon! Please review...

**Chapter 6: My Head Is Spinning**

* * *

_i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained_

_ -Caught in a blonde by HorrorPops_

* * *

The first week back from summer break was hell. Literally. Dick harassed me, his buddies made faces, Madison and me almost got into a cat fight. It was not a good first week, in fact it was probably the worst.

Thank god I had Veronica though, and Logan, if they weren't there I...don't know what I would do. After the first Friday was finished we went out to get pizza, it was nice, except for the part of Logan and Veronica cuddling in the booth while I gorged myself on pizza.

"So, Mac what did you do to get Dick so pissed?" Logan asked again while we sat in the booth while Veronica sat curled in his side.

"Nothing." I answered like I always did when he or Veronica asked me. I did nothing wrong, right? I just broke up with him, it's not my fault he's so bitter over it. But on the other hand, maybe I should talk to him...

"Are you sure?" Veronica piped in.

I nodded looking down at my untouched pizza. I was the victim here, right? Or was it Dick? Dick seemed to be the one hurting, but I was too. I should talk to him, but how...

"I'll see you guys later." I said standing up. "Maybe we can do something this weekend." I said smiling at them then leaving.

I got into my car and drove over to the Casablancas residence. I was happy not to see Madison's car out front. I took a deep breath in, practiced what I was going to say and walked up to the house.

"Mac?"

I was surprised when Cassidy opened the door instead of Dick. I was even more surprised when Cassidy seemed happy about seeing me.

"Hey, Cassidy." I said trying to smile. "Is Dick here?"

"Oh, uh...yeah. You can go right up." he said smiling at me.

"Cool." I said walking past him and towards the stairs.

"Mac?" he called from behind me.

I turned around smiling and asked 'what.'

"Why are you here?" he asked looking at me.

I looked back at him wondering how to phase it and sighed. "I want him to stop." I said quietly then turned around and walked to Dick's room.

I didn't bother knocking, I just walked in. I was surprised to see him staring at his XBox, eating oreos and a bottle of tequila by his side.

"Dick?" I asked quietly upon seeing him.

His head whipped around to look at me and emotions erupted on his face. Surprise. Anger. Happiness. Cockiness.

"What do you want, Mackie?" he asked grabbing an oreo.

"I want to talk to you." I said going to sit beside him.

"About what?" he asked smirking at me.

I glared at him, "about the way you've been treating me this week." I spat back. "You're a real asshole, you know that? Just because I cut off...whatever we are doing together doesn't give you the right to become a bitter jackass!" I yelled.

"I'm a bitter jackass! Are you serious?" Dick yelled standing up and looking at me.

"Yes, you are! And yes I'm serious!"

"Mac, I like you! I like you a lot! I like you so much that I can't even look at other girls because I've already had the best! I spent all freakin summer in my room thinking about how I could win you over. Of course I never did because you don't think I'm good enough! So sue me if you screwed me over and I tried to get back at you! Besides Madison kept asking questions so I needed a way to cover and the first thing that popped into my head because I was drunk and pissed was you being a crazed stalker. It's not like you have a reputation anyway." Dick yelled.

I felt sick for many reasons. One, because Dick said he liked me, a lot in fact. And truth be told I like him too, a lot. And second, because he thought I was the best. "You think I'm the best." I whispered looking into his blue eyes.

He looked back and I felt him soften. "I did." he said back quietly.

I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around him. "I don't think you aren't good enough. I think you're perfect, Dick." I said enjoying being near him.

"Really?"

I heard the cockiness in his voice and I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, really." I said shaking my head.

"So you think my dick is perfect?" he said twisting my words.

I glared at him, shaking my head. "Dick you are such a dick."

"And you wouldn't have me any other way." he said laughing.

I joined in on his laughter not being able to hold it in. Of course I liked him the way he was, in fact I loved the way he was, but he couldn't know that and neither could anyone else.

"What are you doing now?" he whispered in my ear.

"Nothing." I said back shrugging.

"Can you stay a little while? I've missed playing Xbox with someone—"

"who can beat you?" I said smiling at him.

He playfully glared at me then nodded slowly, "something like that."

"Face it, Dick, I'm better at XBox then you are and you missed that."

He laughed but sat down on the floor and grabbed a controller. "I missed it Mackenzie. I also missed you."

I shook my head not wanting to say it back and wondered where we stood now. Were we a couple? Back to what we were before? Friends? Friends with benefits? "Dick? What are we?" I asked as he turned Halo on.

"Well Mac, I know you've always been good in school and all so it's only right you had a bad spell. But I am a boy and you are a girl. Boy, Girl." He said pointing back and forth.

I rolled my eyes and kicked him. "Seriously? Where do we stand?"

"I liked what we were before, you know? Last year, together but no one knew. It was easier that way."

I thought about it for a minute and agreed. Yes it was easier having only us know about...us. But did I really want to go back to seeing him with other girls? Especially Madison? Was I ready for our whirl wind...thing to pick up again? Our thing, whatever it was, always left me with my head spinning and my stomach churning. Dick had that effect on me, an effect that usually left me...confused and dizzy.

But I liked it then, and I bet I would like it now. I loved Dick, even if I could never voice it, and I hoped he at least cared about my feelings, so was I ready for this head spinning romance again? Would it even last this time? Or will it end uglier then last time? All these questions and thoughts were making my head hurt.

"Ok, but..." I started but trailed off.

"But what?" he asked looking at me.

I shook my head, "nothing. It'll be fine." I said smiling slightly. At least that's what I hoped it would be.

Fine, oh so fine.

* * *

The weekend came and went and the second week of school started. With Dick not harassing me anymore, but Madison taking it up a notch I began to notice people talking about Veronica more and more.

The Veronica of last year and the Veronica of this year were almost completely separate people. Junior year Veronica was hard and took no teasing. Sophomore year Veronica was quieter and Lilly's sidekick. It was interesting to see what happened when people died. But this year instead of everyone wanting to befriend Veronica they all talked about her.

It was the second week of school and I was already tired of the gossiping and hatred that followed my group of friends everywhere. I looked around the outdoor cafeteria finally spotting Veronica and smiled carrying my tray of food towards her and Logan.

Logan seemed to be taking the hatred pretty well. I always figured that if Logan fell from his high chair in Neptune he'd die, but he seemed to be taking the hatred in strides. He even, dare I say it, liked it. He didn't seem to mind, though.

I sat in my ususal spot and watched Logan and Vernonia bicker back and forth. Then to my great surprise and theirs, some kid sat down. He was African-American with a small afro and loose clothes.

"Can we help you?" Logan asked turning to look at the kid with raised eyebrows.

"Is anyone sitting here?" he asked looking at all three of us.

I looked at Veronica and Logan who looked unwelcoming, so I was surprised when he started eating his tray of food and smiling at us.

"I'm Wallace Fennel." he said through a mouthful of sandwich.

"So?" Veronica asked an edge to her voice.

"We met this morning, she cut me off the flagpole then said 'Go pirates!'" he said looking at me. "He was there too." Wallace said nodding to Logan.

"I'm Veronica." Veronica said not exactly smiling, but not telling him to go away.

"Logan." Logan said.

Then everyone turned to me. "Mac." I said smiling and offering a hand.

"Cool." Wallace said smiling at us.

When we started eating again, I suddenly felt lifted. Now I wasn't the third wheel in the Logan-Veronica thing. Now I would have something to do when Veronica and Logan were too busy together. Wallace didn't have a girlfriend, as far as we knew at least. But now with four of us, we could do so much more.

I looked over at the 09er table to catch a quick glimpse of Dick, but I was surprised to see Dick already looking. I turned away fast trying to hide a smile when I felt a vibration in my pocket.

_'Closet in 15?'_

I smiled at the text enjoying this new Dick. I had a feeling this year would be a good one.

(A/n: How was it? Am I moving them too fast...hm...reviews anyone?)


	7. My Tears are Drained

**A/n:** Thank you everyone for the AMAZING reviews! I can't lie to you guys anymore! I'm a review whore! I enjoy them and love when I recieve them. hint hint Anyway thank you to everyone whose reviewed. Now I would like to comment on the reviews. Some of you think I'm moving Dick and Mac too fast and others think I'm moving them at a fine pace, so I am now going in a different direction. Kinda. I knew I was going that way all along. Anyway I know that I also made Dick and Mac go back together too easily before getting Dick back, but wait, he'll get what's coming to him. Also about Cassidy I had a plan of what to do with him but, **510593 **might have changed my mind of what to do with him. And one last thing! I'm glad that I changed some people's minds about Madi! I'm glad you guys are enjoying them together and I hope you enjoy chapter 7! I hope it didn't miss anything...

**Chapter 7 My Tears Are Drained**

"I really don't like you right now." Veronica said glaring at Logan as I sat there watching as they fought again during lunch.

It seemed like all they ever did now was fight, it was pretty depressing. Veronica was angry at Logan for blaming Weevil of stealing. Weevil is one of the PCHers Veronica hangs out with sometimes. He's the leader his real name is Eli 'Weevil' Navarro. Logan was angry at Veronica for siding with a PCHer over him. And me and Wallace just sat there quietly eating trying to ignore the screaming match in front of us. I only looked up when I noticed Dick heading over to us.

"Hello ladies and Gentlemen." he said sitting beside me.

Immediately Veronica and Logan stopped arguing and cuddled up close to each other.

Freaks.

I looked at Wallace who looked confused and then I looked at my plate of 'yummy' cafeteria food.

"What do you want Dick?" Logan asked.

I looked at Dick wondering indeed what he wanted. He glanced at me then Wallace and Veronica.

"I want, dude, to invite you to a party. Here's a flyer." he said handing Logan a flyer. "You'll know where to find us." Dick said quietly, most likely to block Veronica, Wallace, and I out.

I sighed, loudly making everyone turn to me. "What?" I asked as they all stared at me.

"Do you have something to say, Mackenzie?" he asked frowning at me.

I smirked at him, "don't frown, Dick, your face might stay like that."

He glared at me then got up and stomped away. Despite loving Dick he was a total tool most days and you had to know how to handle that.

"What crawled up his ass?" I said loudly shaking my head and turning to the rest of my table watching.

Veronica had raised eyebrows, Wallace seemed even more confused, and Logan was staring at the flyer. "Why would they invite me?" he mused looking around at us. "Don't they know I'm not 'with' them anymore." he muttered.

Veronica looked at him, "you can go if you want. I won't stop you from hanging out with your friends. Even if they are assholes named Dick." she said smiling at him.

He smirked back and planted a kiss on her lips, "gee sugarpuss, I love the fact you love my friends. It makes us like one big happy family."

Veronica smirked back at him and kissed him before getting up and leaving.

"Are you gonna go?" Wallace asked looking over at me. Logan shrugged and got up too.

I looked over at Wallace who in return was looking at me.

"Are you going?" he asked.

I was surprised, me go? Ha. Don't make me...kill myself. "Hell no. I hate them."

"You hate them?" he asked skeptically. "Cause from where I was sitting, it looked like you were flirting with that guy, Dick? Is that his name?"

I felt my face inflame and I left in a big hurry muttering something about going to the bathroom. As I ran down the hall I ran into somebody sending me and the person to the ground. "Sorry." I said picking my homework papers up and tucking some hair behind my ear.

"It's fine."

I looked up to see Cassidy Casablancas smiling back. I smiled back at him and looked down the hall, we were alone.

"What's up? I haven't talked to you in awhile."

He laughed quietly and helped me pick my papers up. "Yeah. I'm fine, and you? Dick isn't harassing you anymore I see."

I nodded not wanting to talk about Dick that much, especially with his little brother. "Yeah." I said trying to gather all my papers.

"Hey listen—" he started but was cut off almost immediately by a voice above us.

"Mac!"

I looked up to see some guy I vaguely know smiling up at me.

"Mac? It's me, Sam. We met last May at Shelly's party. We kissed."

I blushed. There weren't many guys I kissed, so I knew him pretty well.

"Hey, Sam." I said standing up and clutching my papers.

I looked down at Cassidy who was still on the ground, he looked disappointed and mad. He shoved my papers into my hands, muttered a 'goodbye' and stalked away looking pissed.

"Weird kid." Sam muttered as I watched Cassidy walk away.

I turned back to look at Sam and I was surprised to see him smiling at me.

"You look great. How was your summer?" he asked.

"It was...fine. And yours?"

"I spent it touring the Carribean."

"That sounds amazing. Much better then my own summer." I said smiling at him.

"It was pretty amazing. The beaches were amazing. Everything was amazing." he said smiling widely at me.

I nodded looking at him.

He was pretty hott. He had brown curly hair and blue eyes. Very hott. Especially his body. He must be a surfer, like Dick. "Do you surf?" I blurted looking into his bright blue eyes.

"Surf? Me? No way. I hate surfing. I'm more of the artistic type." Sam said laughing.

Once again I was surprised by him. An 09er but not into surfing? Was there such a thing? I looked him over again realizing the differences between him and Dick. Dick was more...neanderthal. Sam was sweet. Dick had a certain kid like charm about him. Sam was very mature. Dick was sporty. Sam was into the arts. They were polar opposites, and they seemed to be into me. Strange. At least I thought Sam was into me, I might just be—

"Mac, what are you doing Friday night?"

I blushed, "oh, well...nothing. I mean, I don't think I'm doing anything. Don't you have a party that night?"

"Why go to a party when I could spend it with my favorite computer whiz."

I was surprised he knew I was into computers. Oh right, everyone knew I was into computers, of course. Sam was doing something to my head...like Dick. I shook my head trying to clear it then nodded. "I'd love to go out with you." I said smiling just as the bell rang.

"Great, it's a date." he said before walking away.

I watched him walk away and I couldn't help but let my eyes travel down...

"What's a date?"

I jumped and turned around. "Dick." I said surprised then turning down the hall to see Sam go into a classroom. "Nothing..." I said already knowing I was blushing a bright red.

"Mac..." he said crossing his arms and looking at me expectantly. "Spill."

"Fine, I'm going on a date, happy?" I said rolling my eyes and glancing down the hall.

People were too busy at their lockers to notice us talking. Thank god.

"No, with who? And why!? You have me! What's better then me?"

I rolled my eyes and started to walk away. Why was I in love with such a...dick.

"Mac." he said running to catch up. "Why are you dating people? We are together!"

"Because your dating Madison! I can date people too, Dick. Just because we are...doing stuff doesn't mean I can't date."

"Well, you shouldn't! We're together."

"And your with Madison plus other girls you go to parties with. I'm tired of waiting at home for you to call, then getting a call when it's convenient for you. I'm just...I want something more. I'm not saying we have to stop, yet. Just...I want a life with a guy who isn't afraid to be with me." With that I turned around and walked away then leaving Dick to his thoughts. As dumb as he seemed he still had thoughts.

* * *

I hadn't heard from Dick since me telling him I wanted more. He hasn't called, or texted, or even said some snarky comment.

He just ignores me everywhere now. I don't know if our 'relationship' is over or not. I feel like I'm living in a tv show. I have more drama then Beverly Hills 90210.

It was Friday and I sat in my room trying to look pretty for Sam. I wanted a boyfriend, not a quickie.

I hoped that didn't make me sound like a slut. I'm not a slut, at least that's how I saw myself. I wasn't slutty. I just liked a guy way out of my league who threw me a bone every now and then. I felt like a dog, or a tool.

I took anything Dick did to me. Using me for sex. Being with Madison. Calling for a booty call. I was no one's whore! And this would stop now with Sam! I wouldn't let Dick walk all over me anymore and I'd be with him when it was convenient for me.

I was going to live my life with or without Dick. I still wanted to be with him. I love him, but no way was he taking advantage of me. I won't let that happen until him and Madison are over. Hopefully that would be soon and I would finally be with him like a real couple.

Oh my god, my life really is like a TV show. That sucks.

I looked myself over and sighed. This was as good as I was gonna get, I might as well roll with it. The doorbell rang and I was flying out the door with no more then a 'goodbye' for my parents. I smiled when I saw Sam at the door, wishing more then anything that it was Dick.

"You look beautiful." Sam said kissing my cheek.

"Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself." I said smiling shyly at him.

He smiled back and we were off on our first date.

He took me to see a foreign movie I thoroughly enjoyed then out to eat at some pricey restaurant. All in all the date wasn't so bad, but compared to my and Dick's times those were more fun.

Dick had a way of making me laugh when there was nothing funny going around. And Dick had a kid life charm about him that made you want to hug him and protect him from the world. Until he started talking about boobs and screwing. Sam was fun, and hilarious just, Dick was even more so.

I got back to my house around 10:30 and I checked my cell. I left it at home accidently since I was in such a big rush to go see Sam. I had 3 calls on it, 1 from Veronica saying she needed some updates on her computer. The second one was from Wallace saying how bored he was and we should go out. The third one was from Dick. He was drunk and rambling about how I shouldn't go out with anyone.

Loser.

Who I'm in love with.

Lucky me.

I kicked my shoes off and decided to call Veronica then Wallace.

"Hey!" Veronica said on the 2nd ring. "What's up? Didn't you have a date tonight?"

"Yeah, it's over."

"How was it?"

"He's nice."

"Just nice?"

"And funny."

"Is there another date in the future you think?"

"Well...how's Logan?"

"At that stupid party with Dick."

"Oh."

"Wanna come over? I'm bored and it's still early?"

"Sure, call Wallace—"

"he's here too."

I smiled and hung up. I changed clothes then got in my car and headed to Veronica's.

* * *

"How was your party, honeybear?" Veronica asked sarcastically when Logan came knocking on her door at 2 in the morning.

Wallace had left two hours ago mumbling about a curfew. Veronica and I were in the middle of out girly movie marathon when Logan knocked on her door looking a little worse for wear, with Dick.

"Hey Ronnie!" Dick said perfectly sober.

I hoped he wasn't faking drunk when he called me earlier, of course I couldn't exactly ask him about it with Veronica and Logan in the room.

"Hey Mac." he muttered looking at me.

I smiled and stood up feeling awkward.

"Didja guys have fun?" Veronica said with mock happiness.

I winced, angry Veronica wasn't fun, especially with a drunk Logan to think about too. He looked so drunk though that he could barely stand up. He literally fell onto Veronica. She looked down at him sadness and pity pouring out of her eyes.

"I'm going to go get a bucket." she muttered setting Logan on the couch and disappearing.

It was just me and Dick now, unless you counted the very drunk Logan on the couch who would probably not remember anything.

"Did you have fun?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Not really." he muttered tilting his head down.

"How's Madison?" I asked quietly hoping Veronica wouldn't hear.

"She's fine." he said looking up and staring into my blue eyes.

Thank god Veronica came back then because I'm sure we would've had a shouting match and she defiantly would have heard.

(A/n: So? Did I slow the pace down? Don't worry more revenge is thrown towards Dick. Reviews anyone?)


	8. But You've Been Tamed

**A/n:** SO LONG! I had no inspiration! then i went to the best place on earth! with the BEST people! so i had no time to update! and i had no ideas on the long plane rides...finally though something hit me last night and I wrote away! Thank you to everyone whose reading! I hope this chapter is good...lol.

* * *

_i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained_

but you've been tamed  
you turned your whole life  
into something she can hold  
just when i thought  
nothing was wrong  
you let me down again  
just when i thought  
we had it down  
just when i thought  
you would stay  
you changed your mind  
you chose wrong

* * *

**Chapter 8: But You've Been Tamed**

Halloween.

My favorite holiday.

A holiday where you can dress up as anything you want. Be someone different. Act somewhat differently. A change, something I desperately needed. Along with Halloween came large amounts of parties and candy. Two things I could largely do without.

Veronica and I are having a scary movie-festival at my house. It would be me, Wallace, some girl he was interested in, Veronica, Logan, and Cassidy.

In the last couple of weeks I had started hanging out with the younger Casablancas. Mostly to make Dick jealous, but it turned into something more.

Speaking of the anti-Christ I hadn't talked to him since the party he invited Logan to. That was 4 weeks ago. I couldn't decide if my life was better for it. I missed him, a lot. Just like the first time we had our separation. I had gotten through that, and I'd get through this. But this separation was different somehow. This one there was still an opening to fool around, but it wasn't taken up upon, ever. It was like since I could date other people Dick didn't want to touch me or something.

I'm not sure...bottom line was I was hanging out with Cassidy to make Dick jealous, in the beginning. Now we were friends, he was pretty cool, and it was just a plus now that Dick sent us death glares. He could hang with us too, he just was being stubborn. He wanted me all to himself, and I wasn't going to only be his booty call and not date anyone else. I was aloud to date whoever! Dick was just being an asshole about it. He had Madison, I had other people...so why was I pining like a love stick 2nd grader?

I was just being stupid. I already knew I liked Dick, loved Dick, but he...moving on! I'm obsessing _way_ too much and tomorrow is Halloween! Plus Veronica is now looking at me funny...tune back in Mac tune!

"So as I was saying wouldn't it be_ super_ cool to just _see_ the 09er party!? Logan could get us in!" Wallace's love interest said batting her eyelashes at him.

Ech.

I was_ so_ not going to an 09er party. You'd have to gag and kill me first. Then again this was Neptune, there's no telling _what_ could go on.

I saw Veronica exchange looks with Logan and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to now crack up. Wallace either had really bad taste or he liked people on looks not personalty.

"I can't go to 09er parties." I said speaking up.

Everyone looked at me. Veronica and Logan knew that was a lie. I'd been to 2 parties. Neither of them were that fun filled. I couldn't stand the stick-up their asses people at school so why should I participate at their parties?

Veronica gave me a weird look then turned back the girl. Ann I think her name was.

"09ers don't like us much. Especially me." Veronica said trying to look apologetic towards the girl.

Ann huffed but didn't talk about it the rest of the lunch period, thank god.

But God decided to hate me towards the end of the period, Cassidy came over to us and sat down looking happy.

"Guess what." he said smiling at us.

It was a rare occasion to see him smile.

"Dick invited us to his big 'shabangbang' as he put it." he said. I groaned and put my head on the table. This could not be happening. "So gear up and find some costumes cause we are going to paarta! Those for the record were all in his words." he said sarcastically.

"Can't we just get out of it?" Veronica whined looking at Logan.

"No, he wants us there, bad. Don't ask me why, it was a sudden thing. Last night I was talking about going over to Mac's and then he just invited us out of the blue. All of us. Weird, right?" Cassidy asked looking at me.

I felt my cheeks flame up.

"Oh. My. God! We totally have to go shopping!" Ann shouted.

"And we totally have to talk about acceptable people to date, Wallace." I heard Veronica mutter.

I laughed and shook my head. "Can't we just not go?" I said quietly.

"Come on guys, it could be fun!" Logan said with fake enthusiasm.

I groaned again and wanted to burry myself in a ditch.

Dick was doing this to spite me.

Asshole.

The rest of the day went by pretty fast and before I knew it I was being dragged to the local costume shop to buy 'ohmigod!' super cool outfits.

Kill me now.

Ann picked out both Veronica and mines outfit. When I pulled down a ghost costume she shrieked at me to 'get real' and pick something sexy and fitting.

I was now a naughty nurse.

I don't know why I let her pick the outfit, I'm seriously masochistic.

Seriously.

And Veronica wanted to be a pumpkin saying it was cute but now she was a (skanky) Cheerleader.

Talk about ironic.

I don't know whose costume was worse, mine of Veronica's. Oh but then Ann was a red hott Devil.

I wasn't sure I'd be surviving tomorrow night, not in the least. What was Cassidy going to think of me? Wait, no! What was _Dick_ going to think of me? What was the entire school going to think of me? Why oh why did I let Ann pick my costume?

Seriously masochistic!

Since it was a Friday night I stayed at Veronica's and we stayed up watching the horror movies that were suppose to be reserved for tomorrow and whining about out slutty costumes.

Veronica, though had someone to be skanky for, I did not. Unless you counted a guy who didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Beside's why would Dick want to hook up with a naughty nurse when he probably had Madison jumping out of a cake in her birthday suit.

The world made no sense to me.

"Wakey-wakey Mackie!" Veronica said smirking at me as I slowly got off her couch.

The sun was shining through the curtains and she was holding a pumpkin cookie beaming at me.

"Are you ready to be a naughty nurse?"

"Ach! Don't remind me." I moaned getting off the couch and taking the cookie.

We sat on the island discussing different ways of killing Ann while eating Halloween cookies. Around one Wallace came over carrying a large bag.

"My costume." he said with a smile. "I'm Hercules."

"Herc, huh? Sounds sexy." Veronica said giggling at him

. I joined in when I saw Wallace's face.

"It's for Ann."

"Obviously. You know, she really isn't the best person—"

"Pumpkin Bee!" Logan said walking into the apartment.

I laughed at his ironic nickname.

"Are you picking on ickle Ann again? You know, she's a fragile person and would be so hurt to know about us talking about her. What are you for Halloween?" Logan asked kissing his girlfriend on the lips.

Veronica smiled, "you'll have to wait! Just like everyone else, except Mac and Ann. Ann picked my outfit out for the record. I don't usually dress the way I will be dressing in a few hours."

"Me neither!" I said pipping up feeling miserable. "I would never in a million years choose what Ann did for me. I just thought you guys should all know."

"But Halloween is a time for being different, not yourself." Logan said nodding along to each word.

He reminded me strongly of my therapist. Ech. Thinking of her made me sick. Speaking of Julia, I need to make an appointment with her. She's been out of town...

"are we picking Ann up?" Veronica asked looking at Wallace.

"Yep, at 8:30."

"Cool, now, who wants to go out for candy while we wait? I'm starving! And since we are missing trick-o-treating we should at least buy some chocolate goodness."

"Ronnie, when was the last time you went trick-o-treating?" Logan asked raising an eyebrow.

I watched her blush and I laughed, "how old?" I asked.

"Like...last year." she said quietly.

I laughed shaking my head. How very Veronica.

"I like it, ok! Besides Lilly went with me..." she said trailing off.

I watched her face when she said her dead best friends name and I felt bad. A somber silence fell over us but was broken by the phone ringing. My parents were checking up on me, typical. After I hung up with my overly worried parents we watched Friday the 13 and Scream before starting to get ready for our 'fun filled' party at the Casablancas residence.

Gee wasn't I excited.

In my outfit I could barely breath, no joke. It was skin tight and so uncomfortable I wondered how I would spend hours in it. It would be a miracle if I could. Veronica did my make up then I did hers. I was a naughty nurse and Veronica was a skanky cheerleader.

God.

I was wearing 4 inch white platform shoes and those tights that went to the thigh, whatever they're called. I was dressed in all white except my bright red hooker lip stick and my hair was in a bun.

I was going to kill Ann.

Veronica had her hair in pig tails and the same lipstick on. Her pom-poms kept getting caught in each other and she kept swearing irritated at the cheap material the uniform was made out of.

I agreed.

Fully.

Once we were ready we walked out of the room very uncomfortable. Wallce and Logan whooped and whistled as we stood there stock-still as uncomfortable as ever. I felt like I was naked at school.

How was I going to a party like this?

We got in the car and drove to Ann's I was happy to see I wasn't the sluttest of the bunch. I was probably the most prude, actually.

Arriving at the party at a quarter past 9 we walked in with tons of eyes staring at us. Until Dick came over carrying a couple of beers in his hands looking ready to party hard.

"Amigos!" he yelled as Logan and Wallace stood infront of us. "Nice to see you guys came!" he yelled smiling and looking at Wallace outfit then Logan's lack of one. (Logan was god, that's what it said on the name tag at least).

Dick was in his swim trunks, shirtless...oh yummy.

I mean, not yummy.

Crap.

I hate Dick.

I looked around the party and saw Madison eyeing us. She was a Dark sorcerous thing.

I was happy to see she wasn't.

My outfit must have made me look good because people were catcalling. Which made Dick look at me. Oh Jesus did his mouth drop open. I mean, _really_ drop open, like almost to the floor. And drool was there too. His eyes were bulging, mouth slobbering, and jaw dropping he looked me over as if I was a piece of meat.

"Mac?" he muttered staring at me.

I smiled trying to act as if I dressed like this every day. "The one and only." I said brightly just as Cassidy came around the corner and the same thing happened to him.

Veronica giggled and pushed all of us along as I was left there for both of the Casablancas boys to look at.

Like meat.

I wasn't meat.

I was a person.

A living breathing person.

"You look...amazing." Dick said after a long pause.

"Thanks." I said smiling then taking a beer from his hand. "I'll see you around." I said taking Cassidy's arm and skipping off.

Ha! Cindy wins round one! Beat that Dick!

(A/n: So? how was it? do I still have it? lol.)


	9. You turned your whole life into somethin

**A/N:** hey hey! I haven't updated in a looong time, so since I got almost no homework i decided to write a chapter b/c of the happiness of no homework, and a delayed bio quiz! so yay! thank u everyone for reviews on chapter 8! and for reading! I hope this one is up to par!

**Chapter 9: You turned your whole life into something she can hold**

* * *

_i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained_

but you've been tamed  
you turned your whole life  
into something she can hold  
just when i thought  
nothing was wrong  
you let me down again  
just when i thought  
we had it down  
just when i thought  
you would stay  
you changed your mind  
you chose wrong

_Caught in a blonde by Horrorpops_

* * *

November rolled around and soon we only had a few days before Thanksgiving. Every Thanksgiving my grandparents and cousins come to stay with us. It's a fairly awkward event since we have a lot of baggage in our family.

Like my cousin Gabriel is so obviously gay, but he still hasn't come out to his parents, or anyone else in the family, except me. He's still pretending to date girls when he's had a boyfriend for about a year.

Then my other cousin Rachel is 5 months pregnant with some guys kid. At least I think she's five months, I don't see her much I just hear gossip from my mother to her sister (whose Rachel's mom). Then of course there's my 2 aunts and uncle. My mom has a sister and my dad has a sister. My mom's sister, Aunt Alice, is still married to my Uncle Bill. But my dad's sister isn't married, she's divorced. Gabriel lives with her along with his sister Dorothy.

I was snapped back to the world of school when my Chemistry teacher called on me.

I gave the answer tonelessly then went back to thinking about Thanksgiving break and where everyone was going to sleep, last year all of the kids had to squeeze into the living room while the adults got my brother's and mine's room. It was a very crowded house for four days. And this year I seriously didn't want that, there was so much going on already that...I couldn't take being squeezed into a single living quarter with five additional people. Ech talk about cramped.

I sighed then jumped as I felt something fly onto my desk. Checking that the teacher was still talking about...whatever he was suppose to be talking about, I read the note.

Mac-attack!

What's up? You look all zoned out and stuff. What are you doing for Turkey-break? I was thinking we could hang out. Send this back soon!

I smirked and looked over towards Veronica who was pretending to be taking notes. She turned her head and caught me looking, she winked and smiled. I nodded and read the note again wondering how much I should tell her.

Ever since Halloween and Dick's party Cassidy has been asking me to do stuff more and more. I didn't want to in the beginning but now it's kinda fun. We have a lot in common, more so then me and Dick that is. So I've been hanging with Cassidy none stop for weeks and every time I see Dick—because God knows do I see Dick ALL the time, where ever Cassidy and I are—he glares at us and tightens his hold around Madison.

Ech.

Neither of us have talked to each other or called, it's like we are trying to see which one breaks faster. I sure as hell am not going to break...well...no!

I'm not!

I swear!

I'm not breaking!

And neither it seems will Dick. I've never met someone so freaking stubborn! And this, this fact right there seems to be bothering me the most. The fact that neither Dick nor I are breaking anytime soon and the fact that Cassidy is getting closer and closer to me. I don't want to hurt him, he's an amazing guy so innocent and nice and courteous.

Everything Dick isn't, basically. But I still have feelings for Dick and I'm sure once he or I call each other I'm broken and I'm going back to him. It's not a maybe thing it's a fact. I will go back to Dick eventually, as sad and stupid as it is, it's killing me right now just to be away from him.

Stupid Dick.

Finally the bell rang and we headed off to our next classes then soon enough Lunch came.

"So what do you say Mac? Yes, no, maybe so?" Veronica asked smiling at me and sitting next to Logan.

I sat down next to Wallace who looked like he was trying to finish some English homework. I looked at it over his shoulder then back towards Veronica.

"I don't know, I have family coming in."

"Oh." Veronica said.

I sensed a little hurt there. "But maybe...what are you doing for Thanksgiving?"

"I'm alone. My dad has a huge case." Veronica said simply. She didn't sound sad or hurt or even like she cared.

"Well, do you maybe wanna come over to my house and spend time with my family for Thanksgiving? My parents will probably be fine with it. Then I'm sure we can go out and do whatever." I said looking at her.

I knew she'd never admit if she was hurt over being alone on Thanksgiving.

"Come on Sugarpuss you're going to be alone for the entire holiday. I'd keep you company if I could, you know. But Aaron is dragging us away to Italy so—"

"oh bummer, Italy with your family." I said rolling my eyes.

I saw out of the corner of my eye Veronica and Logan exchange glances. I might have been missing something...

"um...maybe, I'll talk about it with my dad." Veronica said smiling.

But I could already tell she was coming regardless. Logan kissed her on the head and finally Wallace looked up from his homework.

"Do you guys remember what happened at the end of Macbeth? Cause I'm drawing a blank and I have a test today."

I opened my mouth to start telling him the end of Macbeth.

* * *

The next few days were slow and boring. Teachers just told us about some more homework we were going to have and tests when we came back. I was thinking of my family coming in on Wednesday night not taking in a word the teachers were telling us. Sad I know.

"Freedom finally!" Veronica said on Tuesday as we left school.

I laughed at her and Logan rolled his eyes.

"Maybe for you, but me, I'm going back into the dark dungeons of what some people would call home."

Veronica rolled her eyes and kissed him as we walked to his car.

"Mac!"

I turned around to see Cassidy running towards me. He looked very happy for some reason.

"Hey, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?" he asked as Veronica and Logan started to go into full make-out mode.

"Family's coming in."

"Really? Me too." Cassidy said.

I nodded as he watched me.

From somewhere across the parking lot I'm pretty sure Dick was watching us. Ech. We talked more then I left to get in my car and go home to start my homework since God knows I had a lot of it.

Wednesday mom started to cook and I cleaned my room because apparently Aunt Alice and Uncle Bill were staying in my room. Then finally at 4 in the afternoon a silver Honda pulled up in our driveway and let out a very pregnant Rachel and her little brother Ron. We hugged and sat around talking, the usual family stuff. Around 6 Gabriel and Dorothy came and finally at 10 grandma and grandpa showed up cranky and yelling.

The family was all together.

Joy.

* * *

3 o'clock on Thanksgiving afternoon Veronica showed up along with a pumpkin pie and a smile. Rachel seemed to really like Veronica and Gabriel wanted to talk about photography with her. Ryan, Dorothy, and Ron just ran around the house not caring.

Finally as everyone started to get cranky and started yelling obscenities; dinner was served.

"I think we should say something before we start eating." mom said setting the Turkey in front of my dad.

"Like what?" Aunt Alice asked annoyed.

"Like how thankful we are for something. I'll start, I'm thankful for my family and Veronica for joining us. I'm also—"

"hurry up, Margaret! The games on!" dad whined earning a glare from my mother.

"I don't care about the damn game! This is a family holiday!" mom yelled waving the knife at him.

Dad humphed but then uncle Bill piped up. "I really agree with Eric, Mar, this is a really important game."

"I don't care! This is Thanksgiving we never see you guys! Gabriel you next."

I looked at my cousin who looked a little pale, I wondered why when—

"I'm gay."

There was an pregnant pause.

"What?" my aunt Johanna asked astounded. "Gay? Your gay?"

"I wanted to tell you when the whole family was together so I thought now was good. Also my friend, Dave, well he isn't just my friend. He's my boyfriend and he really wanted me to tell you guys. I'm sorry I brought it on now but, I'm thankful that you guys don't care I'm gay and I'm thankful for such an understanding family." Gabriel said in a rush.

"Dave? As in Dave-Dave? He's your b-boyfriend?" aunt Johanna asked still in shock.

I looked beside me to Veronica who was staring at Gaberiel.

"Dave was going to break up with me, mom. I love him." Gabriel said staring at his mom. "He's very special to me." he said even quieter.

Everyone was so engrossed in watching the whole scene that we didn't even notice Rachel grasp the table and let out a groan. We only just noticed her when we heard something splatter to the wood floor beneath us.

"I-I think I'm going into labor, mom." Rachel said quietly as everyone's eyes tore away from one cousin to the next. Rachel was pale and her eyes were screwed up as if concentrating. "I'm going into labor!" she said louder.

"Now?" aunt Alice asked standing up. "Are you sure?"

"Well all the baby books said you know when your water breaks. My water broke!" Rachel yelled a note of hysteria in her voice.

Oh. Crap.

"We, we need to go. Let's go." Aunt Alice said. "Bill! Go get the care!" uncle Bill yelped and stood up and rushed out of the house.

Everyone started standing up and heading towards the different cars trying to help Rachel. She was crying and my mom was yelling for us to get some tupperwear out of the cupboard so we could eat at the hospital. Gabriel's mom was starting to yell about him being gay and Ryan, Ron, and Dorothy went into the refrigerator to get the pumpkin pies to bring to the hospital. Someway or another we arrived unharmed but bringing lots of commotion.

Imagine the shock when I saw Dick sitting in the waiting room. Dick as in Dick Casablancas sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. Talk about weird, right?

Very weird.

And where was Cassidy?

I looked at Veronica who was also looking at Dick.

"Dick?" she said loudly making mom and dad look at us.

He looked up and towards us. "Ronnie! Mac! What are you guys doing here?" he asked getting up and walking towards us.

I noticed his gaze lingering on me. Now everyone was looking at us, except Rachel and aunt Alice who had just disappeared into a room while uncle Bill filled papers out.

"Cindy? Whose this?" mom asked coming to stand by us joined by the rest of the family minutes later.

"Oh, um this is my...friend, Dick from school." I said pausing.

He wasn't much of a friend, and neither was he my boyfriend I didn't know what else to call Dick. Acquittance didn't exactly have a nice ring to it. Besides mom always says I need more friends, so why don't I just fake it?

Veronica raised an eyebrow at the word friend but I ignored it.

"Friend? Really. Cindy's never mentioned you." dad said surveying Dick.

I bit my lip watching Dick squirm then say something very stupid. "Yeah, well, I'm a new friend. Friend's as cool as me aren't mentioned. I'm that cool of a friend." Dick rambled looking at my dad then the rest of my family.

I saw Gabriel's eyes roam Dick's body. I felt like laughing, if Dick knew he was being scanned over by a guy...

"So, you're a friend of Cindy's, that's nice. Are you Veronica's friend too."

"Oh yeah! Def—"

"No, we aren't friends." Veronica and Dick said in unison leaving my parents looking very confused.

"So...you are?"

"Kinda." again they said in unison.

I rolled my eyes.

"That's nice. Has Cindy introduced you to her family?" mom asked, always the polite one my mother was. She was an All-American mom wanting only the best for her kid's and she always had her manners. How the hell did I come out of that? My mom and I have nothing in common...

"no_ Cindy _hasn't." Dick said smirking at me.

"Well Cindy introduce your family to your friends!" mom said gesturing to my remaining family members staring at me.

"Dick Casablancas this is my cousin Gabriel, that's his mom–Johanna–his sister Dorothy. Over there is my uncle Bill and cousin Ron. This is my brother Ryan and my parents Eric and Margaret." I said tonelessly introducing them.

"So why are you here on Thanksgiving? Nothing better to do?" he said after nodding at all of my relatives.

I noticed most of them shuffled away except Gabriel.

"Our cousin went into labor." Gabriel said smiling flirtatiously.

I rolled my eyes and turned to him, "Gabriel, your boyfriend."

He mock glared at me but shuffled over to his mom.

"Boyfriend?" Dick asked confused.

I rolled my eyes, "Gabriel's gay," I said simply.

I watched his eyes pop out then him gesture between him and Gabriel.

I smirked at him and nodded.

"You mean—he—me?—but I'm not!"

"Right..." Veronica said laughing. "

Why are you here?"

"My grandfather had a heart attack after having a bite of the maid's mash potatoes."

"You do realize this is the NICU floor, right?" I asked staring at him.

He gave me a blank look then suddenly a light went on in his head.

"Oh man, that's why there are so many babies." Dick said shaking his head and laughing.

I continued to stare at him wondering how someone I liked could be so dim.

"Well, I guess I should go then, since this isn't the right floor and all." Dick stated looking at me.

Suddenly I got the hint and nodded slowly.

"Yeah that would be a good idea." I said slowly. "Well we'll see you around Dick. Veronica, I'm going to go to the bathroom." I said lamely going over to the elevator with Dick.

I felt Veronica's eyes on me and I'm pretty sure her expression was that of confusion.

We didn't say anything as we waited for the elevator but once the doors opened and we stepped inside we were at each other's throats.

I was grabbing anything of him I could reach and he was doing the same to me. Suddenly I was up against the elevator wall and Dick's lips were crashing over mine. I was needing breath but to do so I needed to tare my lips away from his and I just couldn't do that. He was just so hott and my hips were grinding into his making him moan and when he moaned it was so—

"Holy–Mac–Dick?"

I reluctantly broke away from Dick to see the doors had opened once again...on the ER floor...with Dick's whole family looking at us...especially Cassidy whose eyes were popping and jaw was dropped. Oh, man.

(A/n: so...how was it? a little rushed I know, but...reviews anyone?)


	10. Just when I thought nothing was wrong

**A/n:** WOW! It's been a VERY VERY long time! And for that I'm a million times sorry! these past two days have had this, like, need to write write write. And that is what I've been doing. lol. So yeah, here's chapter 10! jeez. it's depressing and kinda doesn't make sense but...yeah. lol. So THANK YOU! to everyone whose STILL reading and STILL reviewing! You guys are AMAZING! take a minute to pat yourselves on the back.

* * *

_i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained_

_but you've been tamed  
you turned your whole life  
into something she can hold  
just when i thought  
nothing was wrong  
you let me down again  
just when i thought  
we had it down  
just when i thought  
you would stay  
you changed your mind  
you chose wrong_

_-Caught in a Blonde By HorrorPops_

* * *

**Chapter 10: Just when I thought Nothing was wrong**

"Richard? Whose this?" Richard senior asked.

I gulped.

Cassidy looked pale and pissed. He was looking everywhere but at me and Dick. Crap.

"This...is my friend, Mac." Dick said stepping away from me and into the hallway.

I followed reluctantly and waited for the rest of the show down.

"What happened to your _friend _Madison?" Cassidy said his anger gone in place of a smirk.

Suddenly I knew what he had in his power. He could break Madison and Dick up, make everyone aware of the...something Dick and I had going on. Maybe even turn the whole school against us.

Jesus.

Was I really ready to give up the small social life I had because of Dick? Was Dick ready to give up his huge social life for me? Was he ready to take taunts about dating the high school computer freak? Was I ready for taunts about dating a guy that only wanted to get into my pants?

The answers were obviously no.

I glanced over at Dick and he seemed to realize the same thing as me. The bottom line was we weren't ready for any of this, not yet, not now. We weren't ready to take on the whole school like Veronica and Logan have done and we weren't ready to seriously love each other and stop beating around the bush. We were stuck and needed to figure something out.

"Cassidy? Can I talk to you?" I asked suddenly looking at Dick who looked confused.

"Sure, Mac." Cassidy said smirking then looking over my shoulder at Dick, "Dick come too."

We left Dick's family looking confused and I heard 'slut' and 'Madison was such a nice girl.' I shuddered when hearing that. Madison a nice girl? If Madison was a nice girl then I was Queen of Neptune. Something that will never happen.

"Dick, did you dump Madison?" Cassidy started after we got as far from their family as possible.

I watched Dick shift back and forth, looking uncomfortable. Finally he muttered a 'no.'

And Cassidy turned to me. "I thought we were...friends."

"We are friends!" I protested when he gave me a yeah-right look.

I considered him a friend. I told him things I didn't want anyone else to know...uh oh.

"I care about you." I said hoping he wasn't going to say any of the things I told him confidentially.

"You just care about Dick more." Cassidy pointed out.

"No! I just...it was a one time thing." I said desperate.

It seemed I cared more about this getting out then Dick did. I tried to ignore Dick's hurt look and Cassidy disbelieving one.

"I care about both of you. I like both of you. Stuff happens." I said not knowing what to say. Everything was happening too fast and my feelings were too jumbled.

"We've been together for almost a year!" I blurted not knowing or having a good reason as to why I said that.

"It's complicated." I added softly.

"Well, we have two choices here, either a, you guys stop or b, I tell Madison and the entire school."

"Beav..." Dick whined, "can't we talk about this?"

Cassidy shook his head and was probably a second away from rolling his eyes.

"It's not ethical. I know, Madison is a bitch, but she still has feelings, she deserves to know when her boyfriend is cheating on her. And you, leading everyone on like this, does Veronica even know? And dating that guy, whatever his name was, and then hanging around me? How inconsiderate are you?"

I was speechless. I considered myself a good person.

"We were—"

"I'm sure. But the thing is, you don't love each other, you probably never will. You come from two completely different worlds, you don't understand each other."

"We—" I started again glancing at Dick who looked torn between rage and depression.

"You. Don't. Love. Each. Other. So stop and move on with your lives. You don't want the entire school finding out, trust me."

I looked at Dick, but he seemed to be avoiding me gaze.

"If you guys keep sneaking around I will tell Veronica and Madison along with everyone else." Cassidy added crossing off any chance Dick and I had of sneaking around even more.

We were over.

Doomed.

And we didn't even have to break up.

"Say your goodbyes, now." Cassidy said.

I'm pretty sure if I was looking at him I would see a smile on his face. Dick wasn't looking at him either. I was looking at Dick.

"My cousins having a baby." I whispered wanting for Dick to look at me one last time.

Just one time...but he never did before I got into that elevator and disappeared up to the next floor.

I felt tears bubbling but I tried to force them down because I had to face Veronica and my family. I put my fist in my mouth so I wouldn't let out any sound. I knocked my head against the wall wanting the tears to go back in.

Dick and I were over.

For good.

There was no running back and begging. Hell it wasn't even his choice. It was Cassidy's choice. Cassidy basically blackmailed us. Stupid jackass.

I took a deep breath in and tried to act like everything was ok. But in the reflection of the doors my hair was messy from my hands running through it so much, my cheeks were red from embarrassment, and my eyes were sad. I was a broken mess and I couldn't vent or tell anyone why.

The doors opened and I took small steps.

"Where were you? What took so long?" Veronica asked as I sat down next to her.

"Sorry." I muttered quietly.

"What's the matter? It's looks like your cat was just run over."

"I don't have a cat."

"I know that...Mac, seriously what's the matter? You look really sad." I glanced at her slowly.

I was really sad.

"Nothing." I whispered clutching my hands. I dug my fingernails into my palms to keep from crying. I was trying to take the concentration off my current situation and keep the tears from coming.

It worked, basically.

Until I felt one tear escape.

Just one.

That was all I was letting.

At least for right now.

* * *

We left the hospital after a few more hours. My parents and everyone else stayed. Just Veronica and I went. My parents said I looked distraught. And needed to be taken somewhere.

Veronica offered and we drove back to her place. Logan and Wallace were there and I was surprised to see a bucket full of ice cream.

"Girl, why do you look so down?" Wallace asked as we walked in.

"I'm not." I said quietly sitting on the couch with the bucket in my lap. I grabbed a spoon and dug in.

"I'm fine." I said again shoving a spoonful into my mouth.

"Totally fine." I said again taking another scoop.

I saw Logan and Veronica look at each other side ways. I continued shoving ice cream in my mouth.

"Let's watch a movie." Veronica announced after a long silence.

I nodded and scooted over on the couch.

I watched.

I don't remember anything that happened. I don't remember the storyline or characters. If you asked me, Monday, if I saw a movie over Thanksgiving break I would say no. I guess it was a funny movie, everyone kept laughing.

I wasn't.

I just ate.

And ate.

And ate.

I didn't care.

Cassidy made me break up with Dick. I know we could sneak around, but he was probably too worried about his social status and Madison. Why would he give that up for me? What was so special about me?

I wasn't. Was the answer. I was just plane old Mac.

But in a way I was also worried about Veronica, Logan, and Wallace finding out. I mean, what would they think of me? I know I shouldn't care, but Veronica is always saying how big on an ass Dick is. Wallace makes fun of him for his dumbness. Logan and him are friends, yes, but...it's complicated. Like everything else.

It sucks.

Like everything else.

I glanced at the bucket of ice cream and winced. There was probably a few more bits left and it was done. Whoops.

I set the ice cream down and curled into the side of the chair. The movie was still on and everyone was watching. I crossed my arms over myself and looked out the window. It was dark slowly lightening up, though. I realized I'd been up all night. I felt like sleeping.

"Veronica? Can I go to sleep in your room?" I said suddenly.

Everyone looked at me and she nodded smiling. I got up and started walking to her room. I heard Logan ask 'what's up with her?' Veronica must have shrugged because I didn't hear a reply.

Walk.

One step.

Two steps.

I fell into the bed just pausing to take my shoes off. I curled into a ball and felt the tears I was holding in before let out.

One tear.

Two tear.

Three tear.

Four tear. A

n ocean wave of tears.

I shoved my fist in my mouth to keep from making sound. I couldn't breath. Snot was running everywhere. I grabbed a tissue to try and clean up.

It took me awhile, though, to pull myself together. As I tried falling asleep I suddenly realized. If I was taking it this hard, did it matter what everyone else thought? I felt like my heart was breaking, I would never be held again and no one would care about me for the rest of my life. Was it worth it? Did this mean I _did _actually love Dick? Is this how I know I love Dick, by not feeling whole when he's around? By crying when someone says I can't be with him because they'll tell everyone about us? Was it worth people finding out if I could just be with Dick?

I jumped with fright when I felt a buzzing against my leg.

_Where r u? I miss u :-( happy thanksgiving btw. -Dick._

All of the answers were 'yes.' It was worth it.

(A/n: So? How was it? I know it was depressing...lol. But was it good?)


	11. You Let me Down Again

A/n: SORRY! very very SORRY! I haven't updated in a LONG time, and now it's almost december and still chapter 11 is not here. but now! Nov 30 at 10:51 it is! amen to that, sista! Anywho! Thank you to everyone who reviewed you guys are magnificent! amazing! awesome! Chapter 11...is considerably more happy then last chapter, very fluffy, i think and it leds us into a new storyline! yay!

* * *

i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained 

but you've been tamed  
you turned your whole life  
into something she can hold  
just when i thought  
nothing was wrong  
you let me down again  
just when i thought  
we had it down  
just when i thought  
you would stay  
you changed your mind  
you chose wrong

Caught in a Blonde by Horrorpops

* * *

**Chapter 11: You Let Me Down Again**

Soft lips.

Passionate kisses.

Heaven.

Leather seats and cramped settings.

Not so heavenly.

I was sitting on top of Dick making out in his teeny little convertible that he had borrowed without asking from his dad, Dick senior. I smiled against his lips as I heard him moan and slowly I pulled away.

"What are we doing?" I whispered.

"Well, Mackie, we were making out until you so rudely interrupted us."

"Sorry." I said dryly rolling my eyes and looking down at my hands entwined in my lap.

I heard Dick sigh and slowly he leaned back in his expensive leather seat.

"Do you wanna stop?"

I shook my head slowly then turned my blue eyes towards him. "No."

"Then...what's the problem?"

"Well, the problem is, oh smart one, that your brother knows."

"I know."

"He can blackmail us."

"I know."

"Do you see a problem?"

"No."

"What? Why no? There's a problem, Dick! A big problem! The entire school can find out about us. Madison can find a reason to hate me even more then she already does. There's a problem."

"Remember what I told you when we broke up last year after Shelly's party?"

"We were never going out." I said choosing to ignore the topic of Shelly's horrific party.

"Yeah well...I wanna go out now."

"Your with Madison."

"I'll dump her."

"That'll make her really happy." I said sarcastically.

"Look, Mac, I know I'm not the ideal guy for you—"

"Big word there, Dick, ideal."

"Why are you being such a bitch."

I huffed starting to play with my hands.

"Because."

"Because why? We were having a perfectly acceptable make out session till you went all psycho on me. Wanna tell me what's really up?"

"I...don't wanna get...hurt. I know it's stupid, and when we started this whole...thing we agreed this wouldn't be happening but...I don't wanna get hurt. I don't wanna get attache to a guy that already has a girlfriend."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

There was a long pause. I stared out the window wishing I could take what I said back. This whole affair thing, had been a huge Mary-Go-Round. It was so repetitive that it was getting annoying. I realized I love Dick, he has Madison, something goes wrong, we 'break up', we make out, we get back together and then proceed to go around again. It was a cliche 80's Molly Ringwald high school flick.

Although, I doubt Molly Ringwald ever had to deal with cheating boyfriends who seem like they love you.

"Maybe you should just take me home."

"Good idea." Dick muttered as I slide off his lap and back into the passenger seat.

"Do you still wanna meet again?" I whispered looking up at the full moon.

He laughed, "of course, dude. Your kinda the only good thing in my life right now."

"Well that's saying something since I'm a secret." I muttered still staring at the moon.

We didn't say anything the rest of the ride home. I wonder if he ever felt guilty for cheating on Madison. Sometimes I did. Then I remembered how she treated me that day and all guilt was lost and spread out to more vital things. Like putting virus's on my mother's computer or the hurt I caused Cassidy.

* * *

"Madison and I broke up."

The five simple words greeted me the first Saturday in December. It was a week after we had last met and made out in the woods in the convertible. It was also a week after Dick had claimed he'd break up with Madison. Of course I didn't believe him since him and Madison have been together for, like, ever.

Madison and I broke up.

Madison and I broke up.

Madison.

And.

I.

Broke.

Up.

"What?" I asked wanting him to say it again.

"Madison and I broke up."

"Why?" I said my mouth going dry.

"Why do you think." he said.

"Because..."

"Because I want to be with you Mac, jeez." he said and I could tell he was frustrated for making me say it, even over the phone.

I smiled despite him not being there to see me.

"Are you sure you can handle being tied down to only _one_ women, Dick?"

"I think the hott mama's out there will be able to handle it for at least awhile."

I paused thinking it over.

"You know, this means you can't kiss anyone else, right? I mean, if you wanna do this for real."

"I know what a real relationship is, Mac. I've had them before."

"Oh, of course. Cheating on Madison all the time—woaw—that was a real relationship." I said teasing.

He laughed, and I took a minute to enjoy the sound.

"So...what about Cassidy?" I said quietly playing with the loose string on my bed.

"Well...he'll be happy Madison and I broke up, I guess."

"Do you think he'll tell anyone?"

"And if he does? What's the worst that cane happen?"

Your Reputation? Your friends? Being a social outcast.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Beside's high school is overrated."

I was the one to laugh this time. "True. True."

"Of course it's true! Am I ever wrong?"

"We'll skip over that question."

"Well at least outside of school I'm never wrong."

"Of course."

"So what are you doing tonight?"

"Hanging out with Veronica."

"Dude! I'm hanging out with Logan."

"Ok...?"

"We can hang out together."

"Well see..." I started then paused.

It was a fine idea, at least I didn't have a problem with it. Beside's maybe if Dick or I grew some courage we'd tell them. Probably not.

"I'll call Veronica." I said biting my lip.

"Awesome. I gotta go."

"Bye."

"Bye."

I didn't hear a dial tone yet so I assumed he was still on the line.

"Hey Dick?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you and Madison broke up."

"Me too."

And then I heard a dial tone.

* * *

"Fight Club."

"The Ring."

"Fight Club!"

"The Ring!"

"House on Haunted Hill!"

"Scary Movie 4!"

"The Ring!"

"Fight Club!"

"Scary Movie 4!"

"House on Haunted Hill!"

"Logan!"

"Veronica!"

"Mac!"

"Dick!"

"Mac!"

"Veronica!"

"Dick!"

"Logan!"

"Scary Movie 4!"

"House on—"

"Stop!" Veronica yelled holding up her movie choice, The Ring.

"Stop!" she said again as Dick got ready to open his mouth.

"It was suppose to be just me and Mac! What happened?"

"Your boyfriend got lonely?" Logan said pouting.

Veronica rolled her eyes and looked at me. "Are you ok with this?"

I nodded glancing at Dick who was holding his movie choice, Scary Movie 4, sacredly.

"Fine." Veronica said rolling her eyes.

"But I still say the Ring."

"You've seen it!" Logan cried.

"Only twice!"

"Four times."

"I fell asleep!"

"I wonder why." Dick muttered.

"What are you saying Casablancas?"

"It's a boring movie, Mars."

"It is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is—"

"Fight Club beats all of these!" I cried loudly holding my movie triumphantly in the air.

The other three snorted.

"It has Brad Pitt." Dick muttered.

"So? He's a good actor...sometimes." I said defensively.

But in truth I didn't really care about Brad. I cared more about the star of the movie the one the only—

"And hott." Veronica added totally interrupting my train of thought.

"It also has Edward Norton!" I added looking at the cover with admiration. He was my one and only...besides Dick, of course.

"Who?" Dick asked squinting in concentration.

"Edward Norton!" I said totally appalled. How could I be with a guy who doesn't know who the holiness of holies were! Edward freakin Norton!

"Whose—"

"Don't even finish that sentence Casablancas!" I yelled pointing a finger at him.

"My movie is the best!" Logan shouted making his DVD dance.

"It's a cheap version of—" I heard Veronica start.

"it's a classic." Logan said holding the DVD closer, like a child.

"Classic piece of—"

"Don't finish that sentence, Mars."

"Bite me, Echolls."

"Love to."

"Get a room." I muttered wrinkling my nose.

"So...what movie?" Dick asked watching Logan and Veronica glare at each other.

"All." I said smiling.

"We can all watch each movie. Stay up late and eat massive amounts of ice cream and stuff." I said still smiling.

I loved eating massive amounts of ice cream. Which was probably considerably bad for my health. Of course, I don't eat the real ice-cream, since I'm kinda vegan and all.

"Isn't that what we did a few weeks ago?"

"And it was fun."

"True."

"So, all movies?"

"All movies."

We all looked at each other.

"Which first?" I asked quietly holding 'Fight Club' higher in the air.

"Um..." Veronica said looking at the Ring.

She looked over at Logan who was drumming his fingers on his DVD, 'House on Haunted Hill' and looking anywhere but at her.

"Well, we can always start with a funny movie." Dick muttered.

"Well then..." I started raising her DVD higher.

"Mine!" we all screamed at the same time then turned to glare at each other.

"Mine!" we yelled again still glaring.

I was glaring on the outside, but on the inside it was amazing fun, and there weren't 3 other people I'd rather do this more with. We finally came to a decision about the first movie, The Ring.

* * *

"Veronica?" I asked a couple days later at lunch.

She looked up from doing some homework and nodded.

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Well...um. This may sound strange but...you know how you've been helping people find dirt on their parents?"

"Yeah."

"I was wondering...can you...with me?"

"Sure, Mac. Any particular reason?"

Yes, I silently answered.

"No. Just I want dirt." I said quietly looking at the table.

The truth was...sometimes I felt like I was adopted. My parents and me don't look alike. Neither does Ryan. Maybe there was something I was missing.

I looked at the petite blonde sitting across from me then down at my Algebra II homework.

Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure I was missing something considerably big.

(A/n: reviews? please? pathetic pouty face. lol)


	12. Just When I Thought We Had It Down

**A/n:** So basically! i haven't updated in a LONG time! for that I am soooo sorry! very sorry! Please forgive me! This is the first story I am updating after finales, so happy to be done. So happy not to be sitting on my ass for 3 hours getting caroptunnel. It's whatever though. anyway! really excited to get back into the universe of VMars! lol...there was something---Oh right! ok so i combined the episoid with the purity test and the episoid w/ mac finding out about her parents. so yeah...chapter 12! thank u for the reviews! too! i love them! lol. hint hint.

* * *

i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained

but you've been tamed  
you turned your whole life  
into something she can hold  
just when i thought  
nothing was wrong  
you let me down again  
just when i thought  
we had it down  
just when i thought  
you would stay  
you changed your mind  
you chose wrong

i wish there was  
something to take  
that would give things meaning  
give you mind to think  
all her spites made me realize  
you must be numb and a bit dumb  
dissing me, playing her game  
you've turned your whole life in to  
something she can control

spending time  
on the likes of her  
it's not worth it  
feeling that you got nothing to givejust proves it  
you had more before  
you got caught in a blonde  
-HorrorPops

* * *

**Chapter 12: Just When I thought We Had it Down**

"So, Cindy I haven't seen you in a little while, what's new?" My therapist asked as I sat in her office.

I shrugged staring blankly at her.

Ever so slowly though a large smile filled my face.

"I'm dating Dick." I said quietly.

"He says he wants a 'real' relationship." I said chewing my lip.

"I see. How does this make you feel? Are you nervous about people at school knowing?"

I pause contemplating her question and my feelings.

"I didn't tell Veronica."

"Well you seem to be good friends with her, don't you think you should?"

I nodded feeling guilty all of a sudden.

"Madison hasn't been in school either."

"Why is that you think?"

I shrugged, "it's been, like, 4 days since they broke up. I don't think anyone knows yet."

"And when they do? When your friends, Veronica, Logan, Wallace, find out you guys are dating how will they react?"

There was a long silence as I chewed my lip more harshly.

"I think Veronica will be angry I didn't tell her and she was hearing it from the gossip mill."

My therapist nodded staring at me, "don't you think it would be wise to tell her."

I nodded slowly, "what if Dick decides he doesn't want to ruin his reputation though? I mean...people think I'm a loser."

"Well, Cindy you have to think which is more important to you. What people think or what you feel. It seems to me that you like this guy and why should it matter what people you will never see again think?"

I shrugged and whispered, "I never used to care."

"Then why do you now?"

I shrugged again. When I ever I saw my therapist she brought out the shrugs in me. She made me feel stupid, a feeling I didn't like. But, why did I feel more self-conscious about what people thought of me? Why should they care? Why should I care? They were just people, I'd—hopefully—never see again.

"I've been hanging out too much with Dick." I said smirking at the carpeted floor.

* * *

"Number 26! Have you ever done it in a car! Yes! Number 27: have you done it in a moving car!"

I rolled my eyes glancing over at Dick who was smirking at my laptop.

For some reason he decided to sit over by us today. I wasn't complaining, but we still hadn't told anyone we had gotten together. We had to still act like we hated each other. He wanted to tell everyone, but even after talking with my therapist I was still pretty hesitant. Plus, I wanted to tell Veronica before the Neptune grapevine found out. Although that didn't seem like it would happen since she'd been busy for the past couple of days. It was almost like she was avoiding talking to me alone.

I groaned as Dick started reading number's 30 and 31. Wallace was picking at his sandwich and casting annoyed looks at Dick who was ignoring them. Logan was laughing at Dick's stupidity and I was yelling at Dick to be more careful with my beloved computer. It was the only I had, after all.

"Dick what the hell are you doing?" Veronica snapped finally coming over and cuddling up next to Logan who kissed her in return.

"What happened to your clothes?" I asked raising an eyebrow at her extremely baggy jeans and 'Hooters' t-shirt.

Logan laughed, "some people got a little too frisky with Ronnie's clothing. She's wearing mine till we go home."

Veronica rolled her eyes and looked at me.

"It's just because I left my key at home and can't go home to change."

"I like the hooters t-shirt, dude." Dick said looking up from the computer.

"Too bad you don't have any." Dick added as Logan glared at him and Veronica hit him hard on the head.

"Dick! Shut up!" Veronica snapped.

"You don't have to share your freaking horny thoughts with everyone."

Dick chuckled, "it's not my fault I like them big." he said earning another hit from Veronica.

"Why are you even here?" Veronica nodded looking at me then Dick.

"He felt like spending quality time with Logan." I supplied taking a sip of water.

"Oh. What's he doing with you computer?"

"He confiscated it when he heard about the Purity Test." I said glaring at him.

He smirked back at me and started typing on the keyboard.

"Dick! I have one laptop! Not a trillion like you! If you break it I swear—"

"Then I'll buy you a new one. Jeez, GhostWorld, chill." Dick snapped irritated.

"Why aren't you over with Madison and the rest of you superficial people doing this test?" Wallace asked taking my water and drinking from it.

Dick shrugged, "cause Madison and I broke up." Dick said going back to the test.

"What!?" Veronica, Wallace, and Logan yelled in unison.

"Since when?" Logan asked.

"I dunno, dude. Like...5 days ago or something. It's no big deal."

"You guys have been going out forever. What happened?"

Dick's eyes briefly met mine and I suddenly tensed up. He wasn't going to tell them now, was he?

"Well I kinda am seeing—" Dick started.

"Did you guys hear about this Purity test?" I shouted banging the table and interrupting Dick.

Four pairs of eyes turned towards me and I blushed a deep shade of crimson.

"You pay, like, 10 bucks to see how Pure you are." I said chewing my lip.

"It sounds a little sketchy, you know, Veronica?" I added looking at her smiling sweetly. She raised an eyebrow at me and had a look that said 'let's talk later.'

"No." she said bluntly turning back to Dick.

I felt his eyes on me and I knew we were having a serious conversation later.

"So, this Purity test. What exactly is it?" Wallace asked.

"Aw, it's this online list of questions of everything you could possibly do that's dirty or fun or illegal. Have you smoked pot? Have you shoplifted? Have you done reverse cowboy? Stuff like that. And then it tallies up your answers and gives you the score of what percentage pure you are. The lower the score the badder you've been."

"Badder isn't a word, Dick." I snapped.

He shot me a look and continued on, "If you get a 60, you're 60 pure, 40 sack jockey. Anything under 60 is really slutty. Unless, you're a guy." Dick added smirking.

I rolled my eyes in exasperation and turned to Veronica, "it's stupid. Dick just wants to tell everyone he got 1 because he's such a manwhore."

"Hey! Hey! Mac-attack! That hurts." Dick said pouting.

"I think you'll deal." I said getting up and throwing my food out.

"I need my computer back." I added holding my arms out.

As he handed me back my computer I saw his score was still up there.

I laughed as I saw it.

"9 percent?"

"I've never done it in a library."

I chuckled, "have you ever _been_ in a library?"

"Yeah, in, like,3rd grade or something." Dick said rolling his eyes and standing up.

"I gotta go, but I'll see you guys later, you know for some bounding time." Dick said smirking and winking at me.

I turned towards Veronica getting ready to ask her if she was ready to go when I caught the look on her face. She had seen Dick wink at me and she had 'interrogating' face on. I sighed and thought back to my therapist appointment yesterday and remembering what she said. I guess it was time to fess up.

"You ready?" I asked glancing at Logan who was smirking at me.

"I'll meet you in class in a minute, I just need to talk to Meg about something." Veronica said scratching her neck awkwardly. I nodded and headed off to class having a distant feeling on doom in my stomach.

* * *

"So."

"So." I said back looking at Dick.

He was sprawled across my bed fiddling with my pillows and blankets.

"When do your parents get home?" he asked as I sat down next to him.

I smiled shyly, "like...10 tonight. Dad closes the store tonight and mom is out of town."

He smiled and leaned in.

"But Ryan gets home at 6 from hockey practice." I whispered nodding to my alarm clock. It was 4:30.

He rolled his eyes. "I think we can have sex in an hour and a half."

I raised an eyebrow at him, "who said anything about sex?"

I giggled and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Come on Mac! You're the only one now I can't go to Madison begging sex she'll be all like 'Dick we are broken up.'" Dick said making his voice high pitched and doing a rather bad imitation of Madison. I giggled again and got off the bed.

"Dick, I had sex with you once and I was drunk. I don't want to do that again." I said quietly feeling shameful of losing my virginity like that.

He groaned and sighed. "What do you wanna do then?"

I paused thinking. "Today at lunch...you weren't gonna tell Logan, Veronica, and Wallace about us...were you?" he shrugged sitting up against my headboard.

"So what if I was? I kinda wanna show people you're my girlfriend, you know? I like you. I'm actually dating you, even if you won't give me sex." he said mock glaring at me. I smiled sadly and scooted next to him.

"I wanna tell Veronica first. She's my friend...and friends are kinda precious these days." I said quietly.

Dick sighed. "Fine, but you have a week, cause I wanna make out with you in the halls. Besides soon enough once Madison comes back and announces we've broken up the ladies will be all over the Dickmiester. Then we'll defiantly have to have sex cause I might have to go to one of them." Dick said teasingly.

I didn't find it funny, since I was the other women until almost a week ago.

"Not funny." I said quietly.

His smile dropped and he kissed me hard on the mouth.

"Come on, Mackie, you're the only chick I'd be willing to cheat on my girlfriend with and since now you are my girlfriend...I don't have anyone to cheat with." I nodded still not finding it funny.

Dick had never had only one chick, how do I know he'd stay true.

"I—" I started to say as my phone started playing 'Smells like Teen Spirit.'

Dick groaned and scooted closer to me pressing his warm lips to my neck. I giggled into the phone and greeted the unknown person.

"Hey." the person said.

I immediately tensed up and Dick noticed.

"Dude! What's up? Who is that?" Dick asked holding his hand out to take the phone away.

I shrugged him off and scooted away.

"Mac!" Dick whined.

"Mac?" Veronica asked over the phone.

"I was wondering if I could come over, I need to talk to you about what you asked me a few days ago." Veronica said then pausing. "And why is Dick over there?"

I glanced at Dick and bit my lip. He was still waiting for me to tell him who was on the line.

"You can come over...now." I said quietly and closing the phone.

"Veronica's coming over."

(A/n: soo...?)


	13. Just When I thought You Would Stay

**A/n:** So I've been pretty MIA lately. There is no excuse for the VERY long wait you guys had to do. I guess I was a little uninspired but today I just sat down and wrote. I wrote not that much. But enough to get me back on track. The writing might me a little OOC and off. But I hope it's still good and people are still reading. Please read and review. And I SWEAR there will be a new update if there is.

* * *

i've got nothing to say  
i'm out of feeling  
you're out of the game  
go have a whole lot of nothing  
with her.  
my head is spinning  
my tears are drained

but you've been tamed  
you turned your whole life  
into something she can hold  
just when i thought  
nothing was wrong  
you let me down again  
just when i thought  
we had it down  
just when i thought  
you would stay  
you changed your mind  
you chose wrong

i wish there was  
something to take  
that would give things meaning  
give you mind to think  
all her spites made me realize  
you must be numb and a bit dumb  
dissing me, playing her game  
you've turned your whole life in to  
something she can control

spending time  
on the likes of her  
it's not worth it  
feeling that you got nothing to givejust proves it  
you had more before  
you got caught in a blonde  
-HorrorPops

* * *

**Chapter 13:** Just When I thought You Would Stay

"Veronica's coming over? We're gonna tell her now?" Dick asked sitting up and looking at me.

I nodded a nervous feeling spreading in my stomach.

"But..." Dick started to say.

I looked over at him with a question in my eyes.

"But what? Wasn't this what you wanted to happen? For us to tell everyone?" I asked quietly.

He nodded vigorously. "Yes, but not now. I was looking forward to spending an afternoon with my new girlfriend." he replied cheesily.

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Well, she isn't exactly coming over for just us. I asked her something a few days ago and she's finally giving me an answer." I confessed.

Dick looked at me and raised an eyebrow. "What did you ask her?"

I opened my mouth to answer when we heard the doorbell ring outside.

"That was fast." Dick announced bouncing off the bed and down the stairs to greet Veronica.

I slowly followed behind him wondering how I was going to break the news to my friend. When I got downstairs I saw a glowing Dick and an apprehensive Veronica with raised eyebrows.

"Your both coming from upstairs? What happened? Dick couldn't work a door and needed help?" Veronica sarcastically greeted as I walked towards her.

I blushed and looked at her.

"Veronica..." I started but stopped when she held her hand up to halt me.

"You don't need to explain. I know."

My eyes widened and I glanced at Dick who shrugged.

"You know?" I asked confused.

She nodded.

"It's kinda obvious. I know Dick likes Logan, but not enough to hang out with us 24/7. Plus you guys aren't that sneaky. The side ways glances and longing looks? Please. Logan and I did that way before you guys did. But it's nice to know that it's finally out." Veronica remarked with a smirk.

I blushed deeper and looked at Dick who had a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"We weren't sneaky? Damn, I thought we were doin so well." I murmured looking at Veronica who smiled in reply.

"Nope. Sorry to burst your bubble, Mac-attack."

I sighed heavily then noticed the papers in her hands.

"So...are you gonna say what you really came here for? Cause I would really like to know...I mean it's been a couple weeks since I asked you."

"Asked what?" Dick whined.

"Mac asked me a little harmless information about her parents is all. Do you want me to tell you with Dick in the room or should we make him get out?" Veronica asked eyeing him.

I looked over at Dick who had an expression of complete confusion written across his face.

"Is it bad?" I asked quietly.

She shrugged, "it depends."

"Well what does it have to do with?" Dick curiously questioned eyeing the papers.

"Mac." She stated looking at me.

"Actually...I think it would be best if Dick left. I mean, your bound to tell him anyway. He is your boyfriend now." Veronica replied with a smirk.

I blushed even deeper and looked over at Dick who looked a little pissed to be kicked out of the room.

"Go into the living room. You can play Halo."

He breathed out heavily and stomped in the direction as Veronica and I went up to my room to discuss this new found information.

"So it's bad?" I asked.

She bit her lip. "First, wow. You and Dick I would have never saw that coming. We'll talk after I'm done giving you this news. And Two, I don't want to freak you out, Mac...you know how Madison's birthday is coming up?"

I gave her a questioning look and ignored the previous comment.

"Your birthday is in a couple of days, right?"

I nodded wondering why this was important.

"Well...I found this newspaper article when I was looking up things for your parents. Your parents won a million dollar lawsuit. There were two girls born a day apart and they were switched at birth..."

I let that sink in then opened my mouth.

"What do you mean? I was switched at birth?"

Veronica nodded.

"But who..."

Then it clicked.

"Madison Sinclair. I was switched at birth with Madison Sinclair?"

I felt faint.

"What do you want for your birthday, Cindy?" mom asked the next morning at breakfast.

I was still in shock from what I learned last night so I wasn't really thinking of my small birthday get together in a couple of days. I looked at my mother then at my father fixing his tie and getting ready to go to work.

"I don't know." I muttered getting up and putting my dishes in the sink.

I wasn't sure if I was happy that I finally knew or repulsed that I would have had Madison's life. Well, in a way I did. Dick was mine now. Although if I really thought about it, Madison would have Dick once again. Eh. This was hurting my head.

"Do you want to invite some of your friends to come out to dinner with us for your 17th birthday?" mom asked trying to get me to come back down.

I shrugged and reached for my backpack.

"I don't know." Mom gave me a concerned look then kissed me and sent me off to school.

I was beginning to wonder if Veronica telling me I was adopted would have been better.

When I parked in my usual parking spot at school and started walking to my first class. I saw a new car parked in the 09er part of the lot.

Then I heard a huge commotion and I saw Madison Sinclair sitting on one of the lunch tables smiling hugely and bragging about her upcoming birthday party.

Then I saw the flyers.

"Mac!" She exclaimed when she saw me.

"Mac! Do you want an invite to my 17th birthday party?" Madison sarcastically asked.

I glared up at the bitch hating her for thinking she was on a pedestal sitting on that table. Her cronies giggled around her.

I rolled my eyes.

"Not really Madison. I bet it will be another lame attempt to try and get Dick back. Will you be prancing around in nothing? Thinking you have something?"

She glared down at me.

"Oh girls. Did I forget to mention that Dick's slumming it with weird computer nerds? I broke up with Dick and he found the dirt on his shoes to date." She sneered at me and I rolled my eyes.

"As I remember. I think he broke up with you."

"He doesn't have the balls to break up with me." Madison retorted.

"I think he does and I think he did. I'm sure your party will be lame, Madison and even the dirt on Dick's shoes doesn't want to come. You could try the band geeks by the band room. I'm sure they'd love to come." I smirked at her then turned away and towards my first class.

I couldn't help but think though that her party should technically be my party. And I couldn't help the curiosity that crept upon me to know what my real family was like.

(A/n: So...short. I know but...good?)


	14. You changed Your Mind and you chose wron

**A/n:** Final Chapter! It's been a very long run! Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed this story from the beginning! You guys have been great and I'm glad you liked this story so much! I hope this chapter is great too!

**Chapter 14: You changed your mind and chose wrong**

16 wasn't that different from 17.

I wore the same things.

I acted the same way.

I walked the same.

I felt like any other day.

Well accept for the presents and the way Dick was treating me. I guess after being tortured to do elaborate things for Madison on her birthday he got into a tradition of sorts.

The first thing I see when I wake up on my 17th birthday is a large present sitting on my desk. I open it thinking it was from my parents to see a new white Mac computer. I run downstairs to thank them a million plus times, but then I saw their confused faces.

"That boy we saw at the hospital on Thanksgiving came here and left it. What's his name? Rick or something?" my dad had asked looking up from his bacon and eggs.

I had looked at them dumbstruck totally awed that Dick would buy a brand new computer for me. I didn't know wither I should call him and thank him or make him take it back for spending too much on me.

As I finally came out of my 5 minute coma and had turned around to go back upstairs my parents wishes of Happy Birthday following me down the hallway, my phone rang.

It was Dick calling to wish me a happy birthday.

I told him he should take the computer back because it was too much. He insisted I keep it and then he told me he'd be there in 10 to pick me up for school. He was being overly sweet.

He was like a hott toothache.

So I guess in a way 16 is different from 17, Dick was being super nice and super hott...he was also super mine. I smiled at the thought. We drove up to school and Dick parked in his usual places. As we stepped out of the car I saw a lot of people looking at us.

And it wasn't because it was my birthday.

This was the first time Dick and I had completely announced we were together. We were walking into school together a sure sign we were in fact together. My stomach dropped at the thought and I moved closer to Dick who smiled in response.

This was going to be a long birthday.

* * *

"It's so nice to meet you." my mother said smiling and shaking Dick's hand.

Dick smiled a little flushed then looked towards me who was standing next to Veronica and Logan. The cutsey-twosome were holding each others hands and looking as gross as humanly possible. I noticed my brother Ryan eyeing them.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at Dick was scrambled over to me once my mother was done talking to him.

I smiled and grabbed for his hand. His hand was so warm and calloused in mine. I guessed he got the callouses from surfing. I blushed when I thought of him on his board surfing and I saw my dad eyeing our hands and my face.

I dropped Dick's hand immediately.

"Are you guys ready to go?" my mom asked us.

I rolled my eyes.

We were already walking out the door.

Obviously we were ready.

"Since Mac brought her friends I think we should take two cars." my dad said.

"Good idea Mr. Mackenzie." Dick said boldly.

We all turned to look at him. He was such a suck up. Dad, mom, and Ryan walked over to the car and got in as Veronica, Logan, Dick and I got into Logan's Xterra. We followed my dad to the restaurant. I glanced over at Dick and saw his twitching with his collar. I cuddled closer to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Calm down. Everything will be fine."

He nodded and I smiled leaning my shoulder on him.

Maybe going on to dinner with my parents for my birthday wasn't the best idea...

Although intially the idea of having Dick meet my parents and everything at my birthday party seemed like a good one in my head on paper it was a disaster. Well, I guess it could have been worse. Someone could have died.

The entire night Dick tried to be the best he could and my parents who weren't openly mean weren't openly nice either. All I can say is it's a relief to finally be away and in Logan's Xterra looking for something to do. Actually Logan had decided what to do for us. He was dropping Dick and I off at Dick's all because of Dick's sugestion.

Plus we had nothing else to do.

And Veronica and Logan were getting horny which was gross upon itself.

"what do you wanna do?" Dick asked as we stepped into his house.

I smiled at him, "you wanna play Halo?"

Dick smiled too and we ran upstairs and onto Dick's bed to play Halo.

Once we were done, I had beaten him 5 times and he had won once. we layed side by side on his bed both of us wearing huge grins.

Dick scooted closer to me. "Mac, I think you're the best girlfriend ever." I laughed and kissed him on the lips.

"Just because I play Halo with you?"

Dick shook his head. "naw. Because you're amazing."

He kissed me on the lips then this time for longer and soon we were having sex on his bed.

On my birthday.

Together.

Unlike the last time we did _it_ this time I was his girlfriend and I was happy.

I had no regrets.

And I was caught up with this sexy blonde man.

Before I fell asleep I heard a whispered 'I love you' in my ear and I had to say that this was the best birthday ever.

And no one could ruin it.

_The End_


End file.
